1022 Evergreen Place - Debbie Macomber [82]
Tanni nodded.
They went into the kitchen and sat on adjoining stools. Shirley waited for Tanni to get control of her emotions. After all these months of dealing with her daughter’s contentious attitude, she was grateful that Tanni had confided in her.
“I hate myself,” Tanni blurted out.
Shirley wanted to argue and demand Tanni never say anything like that again. Instead, she held back and composed herself before responding.
“Why?” she asked simply.
“I hate how I act when I don’t hear from Shaw. I text him and if he doesn’t immediately text me back, then I accuse him of seeing other girls and we argue. I knew everything would change when he went to San Francisco. He said it wouldn’t, but it has.”
“Shaw is changing.”
Tanni bowed her head. “He makes me crazy. I hate the things I say and do. I want to believe he still loves me, but deep down I don’t think he does.”
“Has he met someone else?”
Again, she nodded, her head down, her chin almost against her neck.
Wanting to comfort her, Shirley leaned over and placed one arm around her daughter’s shoulders. “It’s hard to let go of the people we love. Even when we have to.”
“I don’t want to lose him!”
“Of course you don’t.”
“I see girls behave like this at school and I look at them with disgust.”
“See them do what, exactly?” Shirley asked. “You mean the texting?”
“That’s part of it. They hang on to their old boyfriends. They’re so clingy and weak, and now I feel like one of them and I hate it. I hate myself,” she said, choking back a sob.
“Oh, Tanni.”
“I know I shouldn’t text Shaw, but I can’t make myself stop.” She looked at her mother tearfully. “Take my cell phone away.”
“Do you mean that?”
“No,” she cried, and followed that with a tremulous smile.
They hugged, and then Tanni surprised her. “Thanks, Mom,” she whispered as she slid off the stool.
By Monday evening Shirley understood her daughter’s angst much more clearly. She hadn’t heard from Larry since he’d dropped her off. All of Sunday night she’d waited for the phone to ring. Nothing. She considered calling him, but decided against it.
Early Tuesday afternoon, Tanni answered the door to a lovely floral arrangement that was being delivered.
She carried it into the kitchen, where Shirley was preparing a curried chicken salad.
“They’re for you,” her daughter announced.
Shirley wiped her hands down the front of her jeans and reached for the card. Tanni watched as Shirley tore open the envelope and silently read the message. “Thank you for a lovely day. Larry.”
“They’re from Larry, aren’t they?” her daughter asked.
Shirley nodded and felt an overwhelming wave of sadness.
Tanni frowned. “You don’t seem happy that he sent you flowers.”
Shirley gave what she hoped was an indifferent shrug as she dropped the card on the kitchen counter. “He doesn’t want to see me again. Flowers are a man’s way of saying goodbye.” All the ecstatic feelings she’d experienced after their time together had turned into mere fantasy. Because she’d been so attracted to Larry, she’d made the wrong assumptions about his feelings for her. She was just another in a long list of women who’d do anything to date him.
“He doesn’t want to see you again?” Tanni asked incredulously. “And he let you know by sending you flowers? I don’t get it.”
Shirley nodded again as she struggled to deal with her disappointment. “Yes.” She felt as if a thick fog had descended.
“That’s ridiculous,” Tanni insisted.
Shirley knew otherwise. Larry Knight was an important artist, a celebrity in constant demand. He lived and worked in California and with his busy promotion and travel schedule he must’ve realized how difficult maintaining a relationship would be. She’d wondered when she hadn’t heard from him and now she had her answer. Not that she blamed him; a long-distance romance would be impossible. Besides, she’d probably just been a weekend’s entertainment to him, not someone he’d taken seriously….
Rather than let Tanni see how depressed she felt, Shirley managed to swallow a few bites of dinner. That evening she sat in front of the