1105 Yakima Street - Debbie Macomber [86]
“My dad loves you.”
The lump was back in her throat. “Yes, I know.”
“If you loved him you wouldn’t be doing this,” Jolene accused her. “You wouldn’t be keeping the baby away from him.”
Rachel wasn’t willing to be attacked for the difficult choices she’d had to make. But rather than defend herself, she disregarded the girl’s comment. Standing, she placed one hand over her stomach. “I appreciate you meeting me this one last time,” she said in a low voice. “Goodbye, Jolene.” She started to walk away.
“Wait,” Jolene cried.
“Wait?” Rachel echoed. “For what?”
“I…have something for you.”
Rachel wondered if Jolene was telling the truth.
“I told my dad you called and wanted to meet. He wrote you a letter. I wasn’t going to give it to you, but…I think maybe I should.” The girl reached for her backpack, unzipped it and dug around inside. After a moment she pulled out an envelope, then handed it to Rachel. “Go ahead and read it,” she said.
“Have you?” Silly question. Of course she had.
Jolene’s eyes dropped so quickly, that was answer enough. “Just read what Dad wrote.”
Rachel opened the blank envelope, which either hadn’t been sealed or had been replaced.
Dear Rachel,
I don’t know how to start this. I’ve tried writing this twenty times and gave up every time. When I realized you’d blocked me from calling you, I was angry at first. I’d hoped we could reconcile. Then I understood why you did it and I have to say I probably would’ve done the same thing. Nothing changed, despite all our efforts. It was the same problem over and over again, only worse.
I apologize that I didn’t step in earlier to help you with my daughter. Jolene has major issues, and I should have recognized them earlier. I’ve made some changes here at home and attended several counseling sessions now. You were right about that, too. I should’ve agreed to talk to someone much sooner… . If I had, it might have prevented this. Jolene went, too, not voluntarily, but at least she’s had to listen. It’s helping, I think, but I’ll be the first to admit we have a long way to go.
Teri Polgar returned the money.
I’ll abide by any decision you make.
Oh, Rachel, I can’t stop thinking about you and the baby. I’ve never felt such sadness. When Stephanie died, it was like someone had ripped off both my arms. This is different but just as painful. I’ve failed you and failed our child.
I don’t think there’s anything more I can say, other than to tell you again how much I love you. Although Jolene would never admit it, she needs you, too.
Ending this letter is impossible. Words are impossible. I know I’ve lost you but I can’t say goodbye. Bruce
The last two lines blurred as tears filled Rachel’s eyes. She swallowed, blinking hard, so Jolene wouldn’t know how emotional the letter had made her.
“Thank you for giving this to me.” Her hand trembled as she folded the paper and slid it back inside the envelope.
“Dad’s right,” Jolene whispered.
Rachel looked up and saw that Jolene’s head was bent. A tear splashed on her backpack and she jerked her hand across her face.
“Your father is right?” Rachel repeated softly. “About what?”
Jolene shook her head, refusing to answer.
“If you ever need me, all you have to do is check in with Teri Polgar. She’ll get in touch with me and I’ll give you a call.”
“You’d do that?” Jolene asked.
“Yes.”
“After everything I’ve done?”
“Yes,” she returned without hesitation.
“Why?”
“First, you’re my stepdaughter, and second, you and I used to be close.” That felt like a long time ago, but Rachel could look back through the years and hold on to the good memories without allowing the more recent ones to taint her perspective.
“The baby…” Jolene began, and then paused. “You’ve got a tummy.”
“I see you noticed.”
“How could I not?” she said, and almost smiled.
The door of the head librarian’s office opened and