150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [18]
And the Worst Director Award goes to … Michele Soavi for getting so wrapped up playing with the camera that he forgot to keep the story moving. We're torn between wondering if there ever will be another crazy zombie attack and looking at Anna Falchi's naked body.
They Really Said It!
Francesco Dellamorte: You're supposed to be setting a good example. Now, will you get back in your coffin immediately!
Betcha Didn't Know
The appearance of Rupert Everett's character, Dellamorte, purposefully echoes the look of Dylan Dog, a character in a popular Italian comic book series. That series was created by Tiziano Sclavi, the author of the novel Cemetery Man was based on.
Despite the alternate title Demons '95, this film has nothing to do with with the 1984 gore fest Demons, which is covered later in this chapter.
Trivia Quiz
What literary character has Rupert Everett not portrayed onscreen?
A: Sherlock Holmes
B: Oberon
C: Solomon Kane
D: Lancelot
Answer: C. Solomon Kane. Everett played Lancelot in the 1985 made-for-television movie Arthur the King; Oberon in a 1999 version of A Midsummer Night's Dream; and Sherlock Holmes in the 2004 television movie Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Silk Stocking.
DEAD ALIVE (AKA “BRAINDEAD”)
WingNut Films, 1991 and Trimark Pictures, 1992
PRODUCER Jim Booth
WRITERS Stephen Sinclair, Frances Walsh, and Peter Jackson (script), Stephen Sinclair (story)
DIRECTOR Peter Jackson
STARS Timothy Balme (Lionel Cosgrove), Diana Peñalver (Paquita Maria Sanchez), Elizabeth Moody (Mum), and Ian Watkin (Uncle Les)
Lionel (Balme) is a gentle, kindhearted young man who is suffering under the thumb of an abusive, evil mother (Moody). When he falls in love with Paquita (Peñalver), a young gypsy girl who works in the local town market, it looks like things might get better for him. But then his mom is bitten by a Sumatran rat monkey … and it all goes to hell from there.
Why It Sucks
Peter Jackson, who later found something else to do with his time (like the J. R. R. Tolkien movies), loves this sort of thing. The film brims with cartoony gore and craziness that's rarely been equaled in any medium. But Jackson can't stop himself from introducing character after character after character, dragging down the movie.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Script Award goes to … Stephen Sinclair, Frances Walsh, and Peter Jackson for not knowing when enough is enough. And the Worst Use of Gardening Tools Award goes to … Peter Jackson for showing that a lawn mower can be used as an offensive weapon.
They Really Said It!
Father McGruder: I kick arse for the Lord!
Betcha Didn't Know
This film is considered to be the bloodiest movie made (in terms of the number of gallons of stage blood used during filming).
Peter Jackson returned to horror films (sort of) with The Lovely Bones in 2010.
Trivia Quiz
The rat monkeys to blame for the zombie plague in Dead Alive were illegally imported from Skull Island. Who is the most famous expatriate from that faraway place?
A: Godzilla
B: Dr. Moreau
C: King Kong
D: The Phantom
Answer: C. King Kong. Jackson, a long-time fan of the original 1933 film, revisted Skull Island in 2005 when he directed a remake.
DEEP RED (AKA “THE HATCHET MURDERS”)
Rizzoli Films/Seda Spettacoli, 1975
PRODUCERS Claudio Argento (executive producer) and Salvatore Argento (producer)
WRITERS Bernadino Zapponi (script), Dario Argento (story)
DIRECTOR Dario Argento
STARS David Hemmings (Marcus Daly), Daria Nicolodi (Gianna Brezzi), and Gabriele Lavia (Carlo)
Pianist Marcus Daly (Hemmings) witnesses the brutal murder of a famous psychic, and then teams up with Gianna Brezzi, a feisty woman reporter (Nicolodi) to find the killer. Soon, they find themselves stalked by the deadly, seemingly omniscient murderer who is willing to end numerous lives to protect his or her dark secrets.
Why It Sucks
Deep Red is part slasher flick and part murder mystery, but it is so sloppily written that even if your standards are low you'll want to throw something