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150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [24]

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being stupid enough to take them seriously. Ultimately, the joke's on them, since the logic of some scenes collapses once the twist is revealed.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Script Award goes to … Writer Danilo Bach for a screenplay that almost seems like a fusion of an Agatha Christie — style “cozy” mystery and a slasher flick, but which is undermined by lazily created suspense that in retrospect make no sense.

And the Worst Director Award goes to … Director Fred Walton for his inability to smooth over the weak parts in Bach's script. Perversely, he seems to take pleasure in enhancing them.

They Really Said It!

Kit: Muffy hasn't been in an institution for three years. She's been at Vassar.

Betcha Didn't Know!

Amy Steel also appeared in Friday the 13th, Part II. She played the only targeted victim who survived.

Frank Mancuso Jr. produced Friday the 13th parts 2 through 7. He also served as executive producer on Friday the 13th: The Series for all three seasons.

Trivia Quiz

What critical and box-office failure did Frank Mancuso Jr. produce in 2007?

A: I Know Who Killed Me

B: Endangered Species

C: Limbo

D: Umbilical

Answer: A. I Know Who Killed Me, which cost $12 million to make and took in only $9 million worldwide, was supposed to be a comeback vehicle for Lindsay Lohan. Her performance was an embarrassment, and her career has continued to nose downward.

MY BLOODY VALENTINE

Paramount Pictures/Famous Players/CFD C/Secret Films, 1981

PRODUCERS Lawrence Nesis (executive producer), John Dunning, André Link, and Stephen Miller (producers)

WRITERS John Beaird (script), Stephen Miller (story)

DIRECTOR George Mihalka

STARS Paul Kelman (Jessie “T. J.” Hanniger), Neil Affleck (Alex Palmer), Lori Hallier (Sarah), Don Francks (Chief Jake Newby), and Peter Cowper (the Miner/Harry Warden)

A bunch of young miners and their girlfriends throwing a Valentine's Day party are stalked and killed by a psychotic miner bent on avenging a decades-old tragedy.

Why It Sucks

Want to kill the romantic mood on Valentine's Day? Convince that special someone to cuddle up on the sofa, turn the lights down low, pop open a bottle of champagne, and watch this movie with you! Nothing says love like a gasmask-wearing maniac massacring young lovers. There's also the fact that the only reason the story plot holds together is that the police chief in town is dumber than Barney Fife after a lobotomy.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Editing Award goes to … Whoever butchered the film to ensure an R rating. Several attacks and displays of gore seem truncated, and many edits are so rough they are distracting. The scene where the Miner hoists a victim onto a hook is among the worst.

And the Worst Costume Design goes to … Whoever came up with the idea for the Miner. As creepy as he looks — dressed in old-fashioned mining gear — his getup does raise the question of how he manages to sneak up on his victims in his clomping work boots and with that light shining on his helmet.

They Really Said It!

Tommy: Chief, listen to me. You have to go to the mine! We were having a party and Harry Warden started killing everybody!

Betcha Didn't Know

My Bloody Valentine cost an estimated $2 million to make and earned $5 million during its theatrical run in the United States. Nonetheless, Paramount, the main financial backer, considered the film a financial failure. Shows what you have to do to make a hit!

A 3D remake was released in 2009 as part of the revival of 3D movies.

Trivia Quiz

What was the working title of this film?

A: Pick Me as Your Valentine

B: The Secret

C: Mine, Mine, Mine

D: Tunnels of Blood

Answer: B. The Secret. The film was made under a working title to prevent others from stealing the idea of a slasher film that used Valentine's Day as a hook.

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS

Jalor Productions, 1964

PRODUCERS Joseph E. Levine (executive producer) and Paul L. Jacobson (producer)

WRITERS Glenville Mareth (script), Paul L. Jacobson (story)

DIRECTOR Nicholas Webster

STARS John Call (Santa Claus),

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