150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [37]
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Director Award goes to … Joseph Losey for presiding over some of the worst fight scenes ever put on film. Not only are they badly choregraphed, but he didn't seem to know how to create the illusion that blows were connecting.
And the Worst Picture Award goes to … Joseph Janni for a movie that was intended to be lighthearted and goofy but comes off as nonsensical. If you want to see the kind of thing Mike Myers was parodying in Austin Powers, rent this movie.
They Really Said It!
Gabriel: I am the villain of the piece, and I have condemned you to death.
Betcha Didn't Know
Modesty Blaise creator Peter O'Donnell remarked that the only thing that remains of his original screenplay is the line “What do you know about Wilberforce?”
Clive Revill, who plays two very different characters in the film, was a last-minute addition to the cast.
Trivia Quiz
Which Modesty Blaise star voiced Emperor Palpatine in The Empire Strikes Back?
A: Harry Andrews
B: Dirk Bogarde
C: Clive Revill
D: Terrence Stamp
Answer: C. Clive Revill appeared as the giant holographic images that Darth Vader reports to in the original cut of The Empire Strikes Back. In 2004 when George Lucas recut the film, he replaced Revill with the voice and image of Ian McDiarmid.
MOONRAKER
Danjaq/Eon Productions, 1979
PRODUCERS Michael G. Wilson (executive producer) and Albert Broccoli (producer)
WRITERS Christopher Wood (script), Ian Fleming (original novel, uncredited)
DIRECTOR Lewis Gilbert
STARS Roger Moore (James Bond), Lois Chiles (Dr. Holly Goodhead), Michael Lonsdale (Hugo Drax), and Richard Kiel (Jaws)
British secret agent and one-man wrecking crew James Bond (Moore) investigates the midair theft of a space shuttle and uncovers a scheme to unleash global genocide.
Why It Sucks
None of the Bond films that share a title with a Fleming novel are as far from the original tale as this one. The film swaps the guided nuclear missiles from the book for space shuttles and orbital death satellites. London and the English countryside vanish in favor of exotic global locales and outer space, and madman Hugo Drax (in the novel a run-of-the-mill ex-Nazi bent on fulfilling the dreams of his führer) now literally wants to reshape the entire world in his image. What book did they read?
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Al Gore Visionary Methods to Save the Earth Award goes to … Writer Christopher Wood for creating a villain who wants to exterminate humanity in order to improve it.
The Worst Director Award goes to …Lewis Gilbert for piling on one-liners and slapstick violence to the extent that the film is more comedy than anything else.
They Really Said It!
Hugo Drax: Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him.
Betcha Didn't Know
This eleventh James Bond movie was the most expensive in the series at the time.
Although the script originally called for Jaws to die, director Lewis Gilbert transformed him into a good guy, because he had received fan mail from children.
Trivia Quiz
Which British actor is a cousin to I an Fleming, creator of James Bond?
A: Peter Cushing
B: Christopher Lee
C: James Mason
D: David Niven
Answer: B. Christopher Lee. Ian Fleming's mother was the sister of Lee's stepfather, making them cousins by marriage.
THE PUNISHER
New World Pictures, 1989
PRODUCERS Robert Gulralnick (executive producer) and Robert Mark Kamen (producer)
WRITER Boaz Yakin (script), Gerry Conway (original Punisher character)
DIRECTOR Mark Goldblatt
STARS Dolph Lundgren (Frank Castle/the Punisher), Louis Gossett Jr. (Jake Berkowitz), Jeroen Krabbé (Gianni Franco), and Kim Miyori (Lady Tanaka)
As the brutal vigilante known as the Punisher (Lundgren) struggles to avenge his family, he finds himself obligated to save the innocent children of the mobster who murdered them (Krabbé) from the clutches of the yakuza.
Why It Sucks
Frank Castle,