150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [39]
WRITER Leo Gordon
DIRECTOR Bernard L. Kowalski
STARS Ken Clark (Steve Benton), Jan Shepard (Nan Greyson), Yvette Vickers (Liz Walker), Bruno VeSota (Dave Walker), Tyler McVey (Doc Greyson), and Gene Roth (Sheriff Kovis)
A small town located on the edge of a swamp and inhabited primarily by unpleasant hicks is menaced by giant leeches. Will the studly game warden (Clark) — one of three citizens of the county with a double-digit IQ — save the day?
Why It Sucks
Attack of the Giant Leeches is one of those movies where the characters can't get eaten by the monsters soon enough. This is partly because they're portrayed by second-rate actors delivering badly written dialogue, but also because the film screams “Cheap!!” with every frame. Bad acting, badly done monsters … adding up to a cinematic apocalypse.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Special Award for Lamest Creature goes to … The “giant leeches” are obviously large plastic bags. It takes a lot of guts to put something like that onscreen
And the Worst Script Award goes to … Leo Gordon for writing a story in which a law enforcement officer (in this case a game warden) brings his apparently completely untrained civilian girl-friend on potentially dangerous searches for poachers and giant blood-sucking monsters.
They Really Said It!
Nan: Where could it have come from?
Doc Greyson: I wish I knew. We'll have to do some tests. Maybe the proximity to Cape Canaveral has something to do with it.
Betcha Didn't Know
The giant leeches were played by actors in plastic bags. (From this point of view, not all the actors in the film stink. No one's played giant leeches better. And no one is likely to play one ever again. I guess that's some sort of immortality.)
In On Writing, Stephen King stated that Yvette Vickers was among the movie stars he idolized as a boy.
Trivia Quiz
What animal has not been the monster in a Roger Corman picture?
A: Piranhas
B: Bees
C: Dogs
D: Crocodiles
Answer: C. Dogs. Every other animal has been enlarged and/or otherwise monsterfied in a Roger Corman-produced picture.
ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES
Dudez Productions/Brett Kelly Entertainment, 2008
PRODUCER Anne-Marie Frigon
WRITER Jeff O'Brien
DIRECTOR Brett Kelly
STARS Mark Courneyea (Scott), Kerri Draper (Gracie), Mike Conway (Dr. Everette), Kevin Preece (Sheriff Bucky), Jody Hauke (Walter), Shawna McSheffrey (Mary), and Gary Peterson (Grundy Miller)
The moronic inhabitants of a small Canadian town on the edge of a marsh-bound lake start to fall victim to giant leeches. Will the wussy game warden (Courneyea) and his mildly shrewish girlfriend (Draper) save the day?
Why It Sucks
What's worse than a bad movie? One that's worse than the original. To update the story, the writers included some camping college girls who the audience keeps hoping will swim in the giant-leech infested lake. Sadly, it never happens. This film appears to have been made with a lower budget than the Corman version. “Search parties” consist of four guys paddling along the lakeshore on a cheap inflatable raft. At least Corman's production had a canoe.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The They Might Be Giants Memorial Award goes to … The leeches. Although they look more convincing in this version than in the original, they are nowhere near as much fun as guys dressed up in trash bags.
And the Worst Director Award goes to … Brett Kelly for failing to improve on one of Roger Corman's worst efforts.
They Really Said It!
Mary: Get out of here before I make you leave in tears.
Betcha Didn't Know
This film saw its first wide release in July of 2008, while the original Attack of the Giant Leeches was released in October 1959.
As a director, Brett Kelly makes an excellent actor, having appeared in a variety of roles in low-budget Canadian productions.
Trivia Quiz
What is the greatest danger posed by leeches?
A: They can grow to giant proportions and menace towns in Canada and the United States.
B: They can potentially carry diseases.
C: They can upset the pH balance in waterways.
D: They