150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [70]
Sgt. Kabukiman has shown up in several other Troma projects, usually portrayed as a miserable alcoholic. The meta-joke is that the difficulties surrounding his movie drove him to depression and drink.
Trivia Quiz
What film industry trade association was Lloyd Kaufman elected president of in 2008?
A: Motion Picture Association of America
B: Independent Film & Television Alliance
C: American Society of Screenwriters
D: Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers
Answer: B. The IFTA consists of more than 200 film producers and distributors. Under Kaufman's leadership, it has been highly critical of the concentration of media outlets in only a few corporate hands.
ULTRACHRIST!
LeisureSuit Media, 2003
PRODUCER Jordan Hoffman
WRITERS Kerry Douglas Dye and Jordan Hoffman
DIRECTOR Kerry Douglas Dye
STARS Jonathan C. Green (Jesus/Ultrachrist), Jordan Hoffman (Archangel Ira), Celia A. Montgomery (Molly), and Samuel Bruce Campbell (Parks Commissioner A. C. Meaney)
Jesus Christ (Green) returns to Earth to resume his ministry but finds that no one in New York City is willing to pay attention to his message. After a marketing executive he meets in a bar convinces him he needs a flashier image, he gets a disillusioned fashion designer (Montgomery) to design and sew a spandex superhero costume for him. Thus decked out, Jesus hits the streets to combat sin.
Why It Sucks
It's a very silly movie with a total misfire of an ending that ends up wiping out what good feelings viewers might have had toward the film up to that point. The film was going along just fine, with Jesus facing off against the Anti-Christ's Legion of Ultimate Evil (consisting of Adolph Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Richard Nixon, and Jim Morrison of The Doors), and thwarting his Father's plans to embarrass him. But then Dye had to try to poke fun at the oldtime movie trope of “let's put on a show to save the day.” And at that point Ultrachrist! veers from merely silly to ultra-insipid.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Director Award goes to … Kerry Douglas Dye for ending the film with an overlong, badly mounted spoof of the Andy Hardy movies.
And the So Fake-Looking It's Probably Real Award goes to … The beard sported by Jonathan C. Green in his role as Ultrachrist!
They Really Said It!
Jesus: The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I hated the crucifix! Ouch!
Betcha Didn't Know
Jonathan C. Green was a practicing attorney before becoming an actor.
When the crew shot scenes in Times Square, no one seemed fazed by a bearded man in cape and a brightly colored spandex costume. Some tourists even asked for Ultrachrist's autograph, assuming he was a local celebrity.
Trivia Quiz
Which of these actors have not portrayed Jesus on film?
A: Max von Sydow
B: Jeremy Sisto
C: Bela Lugosi
D: James Caviezel
Answer: C. While photos exist of Lugosi in costume as Jesus, he never played the character on film (though he did appear as Jesus in a 1909 Passion play in Hungary).
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
AWFUL ALIENS
For every Close Encounter of the Third Kind and The Day the Earth Stood Still (original version), there are ten movies like the ones in this chapter. Aliens, according to these movies, are mostly evil, lust after Earth women, and wear really bad costumes — in some cases, so bad that the zipper shows.
ALIEN BLOOD
West Coast Films, 1999
PRODUCERS Michael Herz (executive producer) and Jon Sorensen (producer)
WRITER Jon Sorensen
DIRECTOR Jon Sorensen
STARS Glyn Whiteside (Michael) and Francesca Manning (Alien Mother)
An alien mother (Manning) on the run with her child takes refuge in a country house where the residents are having a New Year's Eve fancy dress party on the last night of the twentieth century. However, the government agents pursuing her lay siege to the house, and a night of gunfire and gory, psychically induced violence follows. Oh, did I forget to mention the vampires? Yeah, there are also vampires.
Why It Sucks
There is nothing wrong with this movie that