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Trivia Quiz

From what does Starman get many of his amazing powers?

A: The Aerometer, the fin on his hood that lets him fly, transmit thoughts telepathically, and receive TV transmissions

B: The Globemeter, the watch on his wrist that lets him fly through space, detect radioactivity, and comprehend all languages on Earth

C: The Galactic Capelette that lets him fly through space, gives him invulnerability, and lets him impersonate any one of the Three Musketeers at will

D: Boots of the Stars, which give him invulnerability and the ability to literally leap from planet to planet (or just tall buildings in a single bound).

Answer: B. The Globemeter is almost as good as the latest Smart Phone!

FREDDY GOT FINGERED

Regency Enterprises, 2001

PRODUCERS Arnon Milchan (executive producer), Larry Brezner, Howard Lapides, and Lauren Lloyd (producers)

WRITERS Tom Green and Derek Harvie

DIRECTOR Tom Green

STARS Tom Green (Gordy Brody) Marisa Coughlan (Betty), Rip Torn (Jim Brody), and Eddie Kaye Thomas (Freddy Brody)

Gordy (Green) is forced to move back in with his parents after losing his job. When his parents demand he leave to find new work, he starts spreading rumors that his father (Torn) sexually abused his brother Freddy.

Why It Sucks

Ambush comedian Tom Green succeeded in making an entirely unfunny comedy. It's hard to say what anyone involved in this cinematic cow pat was thinking … if they were. The attempt to stretch brief sketch ideas where Green tormented his real parents for amusement results in a film about a completely unlikeable character who destroys his family with false accusations for no reason other than he's a jerk. The supporting cast isn't much better, although one can admire Rip Torn's character for not simply murdering his son to spare himself and the world anymore misery.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Directing Award goes to … Tom Green, for proving, yet again, that a comedy sketch can't bear the weight of a feature film.

And the Worst Acting Award goes to … Tom Green for his obnoxious signature character who is onscreen for virtually the entire eighty-seven-minute running time of the picture.

They Really Said It!

Betty: You got a problem with my legs?

Jim: No, you got a problem with your legs. It's that or you're just lazy.

Betcha Didn't Know

With a production budget of $15 million, Freddy Got Fingered barely managed to break even during it U.S. theatrical run.

The film was originally rated NC-17, and Green had to go back to the editing room to tone it down to get an R rating.

Trivia Quiz

What star of Freddy Got Fingered sued Dennis Hopper for defamation of character and won?

A: Tom Green

B: Marisa Coughlan

C: Eddie Kaye Thomas

D: Rip Torn

Answer: D. Hopper claimed, in an appearance on The Tonight Show, that Torn had pulled a knife on him during preproduction of Easy Rider. Torn sued, won, and Hopper was ordered to pay $1.5 million.

FUTURE FORCE

Action International Pictures, 1989

PRODUCER Kimberley Casey

WRITERS Thomas Baldwin and David A. Prior

DIRECTOR David A. Prior

STARS David Carradine (John Tucker), Anna Rapagna (Marion Sims), D.

C. Douglas (Billy Parke), William Zipp (Jason Adams), and Robert Tessier (Becker)

In the near future, John Tucker (Carradine) is the top officer of C.O.P.S, a privatized police force that's little more than an elaborate bounty-hunting service. When he refuses to kill a television reporter who claims she can expose corruption within the police force (Rapagna), he is targeted for death by his boss (Zipp).

Why It Sucks

The film was conceived and shot in 1989, but the future looks like 1978. The one exception to that is the dippy self-propelled flying robotic gauntlet that fires laser beams and is kept in a remotecontrolled toolbox in the back of David Carradine's car.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Most Incompetent Futurist Award goes to … Thomas Baldwin and David A. Prior for conceiving something so illogical