22 Britannia Road - Amanda Hodgkinson [123]
He digs up a birch from the hedgerow while Gilbert waits with an old curtain to wrap its roots in.
‘I still think you should give him a thumping.’
‘So did I. To begin with. Now I just don’t want to see him. Fighting is not my way of doing things.’
‘I’ve known Tony for years. I never thought he’d play such a mean trick.’
‘Can you pass me that spade, please?’
‘She and the boy are in Felixstowe you know. Doris saw them.’
Janusz feels the blood rush to his face. He stops what he is doing.
‘She saw them?’
‘Apparently.’
‘And?’
‘She said they looked all right.’ Gilbert pats Janusz on the shoulder. ‘I don’t know what went on, but Doris seemed pretty fired up. You know how she is when she gets the bit between her teeth. She told me they’re moving away.’
‘Moving?’ Janusz can’t hide the panic in his voice.
Gilbert sounds unsure. ‘Well, I know Doris can be prone to exaggerate.’
‘Where are they moving to?’
‘Well, that’s just it. Doris won’t say. Stubborn as an ox, you know. She took it all very badly. Says Sylvie betrayed her trust. But look, why don’t you go and see the boy while you can? I could get you the address.’
Janusz thinks of the postcards he has. He’s driven past the house but never dared stop. The thought of seeing Silvana with Tony haunts him. He’s not sure he would be able to cope with it.
‘I already have it,’ he says firmly. ‘And I don’t want to see them. Not if Silvana is happy with Tony. Let her have what she wants. Why do we even need to talk about this?’
Gilbert sighs. ‘All right, I hear you. I won’t go on. Listen, is it legal, taking trees like this? They must belong to someone.’
‘They’re only saplings. They’re wild. No one wants them. Shine that torch over this way.’
‘Tell me again, then,’ asks Gilbert. ‘Why do we have to do this in the dark if it’s legal to take them anyway?’
Back home in Britannia Road, Janusz unloads the trees, heels them into the earth in the garden, cleans the car and then finally goes into his house and locks the door.
In the bathroom he takes off his clothes and washes himself, slowly, head down like a man caught in the rain, staring at his feet. When he closes his eyes, he swears he hears Silvana coming up the stairs, Aurek playing in the hallway. The house is haunted by the sounds of his wife and the child. And if what Doris says is true, that they’re moving away, then there’s no hope. He grabs a towel and rubs himself dry.
Let them go, he thinks as he dresses. He’s not the one to blame. He may have sent them away, but she is the one who did the damage. He has nothing to reproach himself for. Nothing at all. If she chooses to go, then he can do nothing to stop her.
He walks into the boy’s room, tidies the books on the shelf. He smooths the bedcovers and straightens the picture on the wall. Then he sits on the bed, puts his head in his hands and weeps.
Silvana
The ship put into port in England on an early tide, pushing through darkness and fog. Silvana had arrived in a land of clouds. Everywhere was covered in a smoky fog that banded across the landscape and blurred the shapes of buildings. She concentrated on watching her feet and the backs of the crowds in front of her as she moved slowly down the gangplank in the thick shuffle of bodies.
Land was a shock after so long at sea. As the crowds disembarked and their feet hit solid ground, Silvana and Aurek staggered and rolled like people stepping off a fairground ride, unable to walk in a straight line. They were moved along in winding queues and handed identity cards. Aurek was given a pair of red leather rollerskates tied together with their own laces. A man laid them over his shoulder and Aurek sagged under their weight.
Silvana looked at the boxes of skates and toys in front of her.
The man smiled. ‘Does he like them?’ He pointed at the skates.
Aurek was struggling,