22 Britannia Road - Amanda Hodgkinson [58]
Ipswich
Carrying her laden shopping bags, Silvana crosses the road at the tram station, walking through one busy street and then another until she finds herself outside Tony’s pet shop. She hesitates. What is she going to say to him? She doesn’t even know why she is there except that he asked her and she said yes. She pushes opens the door, stepping into a cacophony of birdsong. The place smells of wood shavings and disinfectant, and Silvana tries not to cough as she breathes in the warm air.
It really is an emporium. There are puppies asleep on straw in cages, kittens, rabbits, even ducks and chickens. White mice scurry in large wire-meshed cages, and a whole wall is given over to an aviary filled with noisy parrots, canaries, budgerigars and thumb-sized zebra finches. Further into the shop she sees dark tanks of fish, flashes of rainbows and oranges and golds flitting in and out of shadowy waters.
‘I can get you any pet you want,’ says Tony. She looks up and sees him standing behind a wooden counter smiling at her, and feels glad she came. His face is full of pleasure and she can’t help but feel flattered. He looks genuinely delighted to see her.
‘What would you like?’ asks Tony, coming out from behind the counter. ‘A chinchilla? A tortoise? I supply zoos and circuses. An elephant for your son to ride to school on? A Suffolk ewe, a Norfolk ram?’
‘I was passing,’ Silvana says, putting down her bags and taking off her gloves, ‘and I thought I would like to see the animals.’
Tony gives her a kitten to hold, then a white mouse that tries to run up her sleeve. After that he puts a small black rabbit in the palm of her hand.
‘You can have him as a gift. He likes you.’
‘He’s lovely,’ Silvana says. ‘But I would have to pay you for it.’
‘Ah, well, this one is not for sale. It’s only available as a gift.’
She frowns at him, unsure of what to say. Is he laughing at her?
He leads her further into the shop, past aisles of dog biscuits and birdseed and bins of leathery treats for dogs to chew.
Silvana looks down at a large wooden crate beside her. It is full of yellowed bones. She tries to look away but she can’t; the bones have her attention. They call to her, all the polished ball and socket joints, the roughened shanks and nubbed ends. Piles of them, all around her. Her legs wobble underneath her.
‘They’re gruesome-looking, aren’t they?’ says Tony cheerfully. ‘Horses’ bones mainly.’ He lifts one out of the bin and then drops it back with the others, catching hold of her as she staggers sideways. ‘Oh my God, I’m sorry. Are you all right?’
‘I need some air. I think it’s too hot in here.’
Tony takes her arm and leads her through the back of the shop to a door. He pushes it open and hurries her out into a small yard.
‘But you look terrible. I’m so sorry.’
Silvana gulps clean air and steadies herself.
‘I have to keep the place warm for the animals,’ says Tony. ‘Was it the bones? I’m sorry. I’m such a fool. I should have thought.’
‘Thought of what?’ says Silvana, mopping her forehead with a handkerchief.
‘How you might feel. Did they scare you? I understand what you’ve been through. What happened in your country. I’ve read about it. Those camps. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’
Silvana backs away from him. ‘I should go now.’
‘Of course you shouldn’t. Not yet. Please, at least let me offer you a cup of tea. You can’t go home yet.’
His eyes are dark brown and fixed on her. If she fell he would catch her. She knows it. That is why she is here. She has to place her trust somewhere, now that Janusz has hurt her so badly.
He cups her elbow in his hand. ‘Forgive me, but you look lonely, Silvana.’
‘I …’
‘Don’t misunderstand me. I’m glad you came.’
‘I should go …’
‘Not until you tell me what makes you so sad. Do you need something? I can get you anything. Will you tell me what’s troubling you?’
Silvana thinks of the letters.