22 Britannia Road - Amanda Hodgkinson [61]
‘You’re beautiful, Silvana,’ says Tony, as if he has read her thoughts. He catches hold of Doris’s waist, swinging her around the room in a waltz. ‘And so are you, Mrs Holborn.’
‘Oh now, stop that. Put me down.’
‘Don’t get her dancing,’ says Gilbert. ‘That’s how she caught me. I was only a young lad. She took me in her arms and that was that. I was hooked like a sprat on a line.’
‘You do talk nonsense,’ laughs Doris. ‘Our Geena is the one that likes dancing. You should give her a call, Tony. I’m sure she’d be free one evening to go dancing in town with you.’
‘I’d be glad to,’ says Tony. ‘I haven’t been dancing in a long time.’ He catches Silvana’s eye and winks.
‘Aurek?’ Silvana turns to her son. ‘Look. Look at Mama. What do you think? Aurek?’
Aurek shakes his head. ‘Tractor,’ he says, and pushes it over the carpet, crashing it into the chair leg, knocking over a brass coal scuttle and sending a pair of fire tongs flying into the hearth.
‘Mind what you’re doing, young lad,’ says Doris.
‘Well.’ Gilbert rubs his hands together. ‘Shall we get on, gentlemen? Another round of cards?’
Tony stops swinging Doris around. He salutes her. ‘Good idea. Another game. I’ll get some more refreshments from the car. I have presents for the ladies too. Would you excuse me for a moment?’
‘All right,’ says Gilbert. ‘But if you’re any longer than five minutes, we’ll send a search party out.’
Tony comes back with two boxes of chocolates and a sugar mouse.
‘There we are. Milk Tray and something for Aurek.’
‘Oh now,’ says Doris, as he hands her a box with a red ribbon tied across it. ‘It’s been years since I got a box of chocolates from a man.’
‘Don’t go spoiling her,’ says Gilbert. ‘God only knows what she’ll be wanting next.’
‘At least I’m not slurring my words,’ says Doris. ‘I’ll make you all a cup of tea. Jan, you look like you need one. Come through to the kitchen.’
Doris ushers them out of the room, and Tony and Silvana stand together in the front parlour, Aurek wheeling the tractor around their legs.
‘Open it,’ says Tony, handing her a box of chocolates.
Silvana takes off the ribbon and the lid. There are no chocolates. Instead a small red book nestles inside. A dictionary.
‘It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?’
She nods, trying to think of something to say.
‘Shhh,’ he says. ‘Not a word.’ He touches her cheek with his fingertips, gives her a crooked smile and leaves the room.
That night, after Janusz has gone to bed, Silvana sits at the kitchen table with the red dictionary open on her lap and Janusz’s English–Polish dictionary beside her on the table. Slowly, she translates the first few lines of one of the letters. It takes her a long time, flicking through the books, writing down words in English, then finding them in Polish. Finally she has something she can make sense of.
My Dearest,
It is necessary that you do not feel bad. If you have no news of your wife, perhaps she find someone else? And remember, you never want to fall in love. It just arrives. I read something today. Where love is, there is forgiveness. I believe this.
Silvana walks to the pantry and puts the letter back in the box, turns out the light and climbs the stairs to bed in the dark. She knows the number of stairs, the turn on the landing, the feel of the banister under her hand. This house has become her home. But it is a home full of lies.
And if Janusz knew Silvana’s secret, would he forgive her? She has no words for what happened. No: it is better to guard her secret, to keep it dark, pickled and slippery, like a jar of something forgotten, pushed so far to the back of the pantry that not even she can remember what is floating in there.
In the bedroom she puts the red dictionary in a drawer along with her headscarf. Silvana