22 Britannia Road - Amanda Hodgkinson [86]
‘Are you coming?’ calls Doris. ‘Only I want to get home before it rains.’
Silvana looks at Doris, Gilbert and Janusz waiting for her, their breath misting in the night air.
‘Of course,’ she replies, and quickens her pace, the feel of the cobblestones under her bare feet cold and wet.
Aurek is asleep by the fire when they get back, Peter curled up in the armchair and Tony reading.
‘Hello,’ he says, putting down his book. ‘Had a good time?’
Silvana stands dejectedly behind Janusz. Her stockings have holes in the toes and one of the blisters on her heel is weeping.
‘Very nice,’ she says. ‘I’ll just put Aurek to bed.’
‘No.’ Janusz bends down and takes the sleeping boy in his arms. ‘I can do it.’
Silvana’s heart splinters slightly at the sight of him holding the boy. She watches him carrying Aurek out of the room, the way he presses his cheek tenderly against the child’s face.
‘So, have you forgiven me?’ Tony asks her. He crosses the room and shuts the door quietly.
‘Forgiven you?’ Now she is alone with him, Silvana can feel her heart beating too fast. She was so sure she wouldn’t weaken like this, but the nearness of him is overwhelming.
‘For not seeing you. I’ve missed you. I tried to stay away. I didn’t want to complicate your life. Will you meet me?’ He steps closer to her. ‘When you get Aurek from school? Meet me in the park? I have to talk to you.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Silvana, I need to see you. I can’t pretend any more.’
Silvana is desperate to escape his gaze. She can feel it slipping over her hair, across the bodice of her dress. I am a housewife, she wants to tell him. Not a character in a film.
‘This is impossible. Peter is in the room.’
‘He’s asleep. Next week,’ he says. ‘Tuesday. I’ll be at the school gates. Will you come?’
She doesn’t get a chance to answer. The door swings open and they both look towards it.
‘Can I get you something to drink, Tony?’ says Janusz, coming back into the room. ‘A cup of tea? Or wine or sherry?’
Standing between the two men, Silvana can feel the heat of Janusz’s controlled displeasure towards her.
‘A nightcap,’ says Tony, who acts as though he is completely unaware of the cold wind that has just blown in with Janusz. ‘What a good idea.’
There they all are, Tony talking with his hands, gesturing to an imaginary audience; Janusz holding his hands firmly behind his back, speaking of work and the weather; Silvana turning a blank gaze towards the fire, the mantelpiece, the door, the sleeping form of Peter by the hearth, the area just above Tony’s right shoulder, the crease in his elbow. The corner cupboard behind his head.
‘I was just asking Silvana if you would like to take the boys to the woods after school next week,’ says Tony.
‘I don’t think we have time,’ Silvana says, trying to sound calm.
‘Well, if you do, I’d be delighted to meet up with you all on Tuesday.’
‘I don’t know if I can make it,’ says Janusz. ‘I’ll try, but we’re changing hours at work at the moment. I may be on nights again.’
‘Oh well, we can wait until you’re free, Jan.’
‘No, don’t wait for me. I’m trying to get in as much overtime as they’ll let me at the moment. I’m hoping for a promotion, in fact. But Silvana can go with Aurek. I know Aurek’s missed having Peter to play with. Silvana?’
‘I don’t know. Perhaps. Please excuse me,’ Silvana says, rubbing her eyes. ‘I am tired. I think I’ll go up to bed.’
‘So I’ll see you and Aurek on Tuesday?’
Janusz and Tony are both looking at her.
‘Not next week,’ she says. ‘Perhaps another time, when Janusz is not working.’
She slips out of the door and hurries up the stairs, deciding she will sleep in Aurek’s bed tonight.
When she brushes her teeth and washes her face, she tries not to look at herself in the mirror. She doesn’t use her jar of cold cream. Her face can feel dry and sore. And she won’t brush her hair out tonight. Satisfied with the