92 Pacific Boulevard - Debbie Macomber [119]
“I hope you find the happiness you’re looking for,” he said. “I just regret it wasn’t with me.” He looked directly into her eyes, smiled and threw his coffee container into a nearby trash bin. Without another word, he walked away.
Gloria remained rooted to the spot. After a moment, she closed her eyes and acknowledged that he was right. She’d carefully planned the reunion with her birth family, but nothing had worked out the way she’d hoped. She wanted to be close to her sister and brother, and that hadn’t happened. Nothing had gone as she’d envisioned. She saw Mack once in a while, for a quick drink and some stilted conversation, and exchanged an occasional phone call with Linnette. It wasn’t their fault; she’d counted on too much from them—too much too soon. They’d already established lives, with no firm place for her. Corrie was superficially warm and friendly, but Gloria felt she’d never got past her guilt over the adoption. Of all of them, she had the best relationship with Roy, a former cop himself.
Trembling, she leaned against the railing, watching as Chad walked toward the clinic. All these months, she’d been afraid of what would happen if she ever let him back into her life.
That night, that fateful night, he’d seemed to recognize her pain. When she didn’t answer his questions, he’d whispered that she could tell him when she was ready. But she wasn’t any more ready now than she’d been then.
After that one night with Chad, Gloria had felt vulnerable. He’d shaken her sense of self-preservation. Instinctively she’d fled, determined that what had happened could never be repeated. She didn’t like being out of control. She couldn’t risk getting emotionally involved with him, with anyone. Linnette’s interest in him had been a convenient excuse, but that was all—an excuse. Especially when Linnette had fallen for Cal, when she was over her infatuation with Chad.
Although Gloria had rebuffed Chad several times, he hadn’t given up and refused to accept that she didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Only now did she admit what those feelings were, and only because he’d forced her to.
Now Chad was leaving and she had the strongest intuition that if she let him go, she’d be sorry for the rest of her life.
Gloria returned to her vehicle and sat there for several minutes, debating what to do. The safe response, she supposed, would be nothing. He could leave, and her life would be unchanged…
No, it wouldn’t.
She couldn’t lie to herself anymore. She cared about him, had cared for a very long time. Dropping her head to the steering wheel, she considered her next move. The lump in her throat hadn’t gone away and she gave a shuddering sigh, trapped in her indecision.
Without any further deliberation, she got out of her car and slammed the door. Anger vibrated through her. She wanted to kick, yell, scream, stamp her feet.
The medical clinic was close to the marina, and she walked there at a clipped pace, nearly breathless by the time she arrived.
The waiting room was crowded. She stepped up to the receptionist’s desk and stood in line. “I need to see Dr. Timmons,” she said when it was finally her turn. The woman started to ask her something, but Gloria broke in. “This is a personal matter.”
For a moment she thought the receptionist was about to argue with her. Then she followed the woman’s glance. Chad was speaking to a nurse in the background; he paused when he saw her, said a few words to the nurse and started toward the reception area.
Gloria met his eyes.
“Dr. Timmons,” the receptionist said loudly, “this woman wants to see you on a personal matter.” Gloria cringed in embarrassment.
“That’s all right, Micki.” He directed his next comment to Gloria. “I’m on duty.”
This was incredibly uncomfortable. In addition to the staff, the waiting room full of patients who studied them as if they were Hollywood celebrities indulging in a public spat.
“You wanted to see me?” he said coolly.
The least he could do was put her at ease. He didn’t. She managed to nod,