92 Pacific Boulevard - Debbie Macomber [66]
“You sent back his Valentine gift.” She paused. “The flowers were gorgeous—I know because he ended up giving them to me.”
Christie forcefully expelled her breath. “Are you back to James again?”
Teri’s gaze pleaded with hers. “Explain it to me.”
“Explain what?”
“Why you’re so unforgiving. Why can’t you accept the fact that once the news story broke, James felt he had no option but to run. Surely you can put yourself in his position.”
“No,” she snapped. “I can’t.”
“I don’t believe that,” Teri said. “Poor James, he—”
“He walked out on you and Bobby, and he walked out on me, just like every other man I’ve ever loved.”
“Christie, you’ve got to know James isn’t like anyone else. He’s James. His childhood was hell. His parents drove him to mental collapse, to the point that he ended up in a psych ward. Once it was obvious that he couldn’t play chess anymore, they turned their backs on him—their own son! If it wasn’t for Bobby, I don’t know what would’ve happened to him.”
“He doesn’t seem all that grateful to Bobby—or at least that’s how it looks from where I’m sitting,” Christie said. “When Bobby needed him, James left.”
“You mean when you needed him, James left.”
“Yes,” she flared. “I thought James was different. I thought I could trust him. What an idiot I was.”
“He came back because of you,” Teri said quietly.
“Too bad. I’m not interested.”
Teri pretended not to hear. “James realized it didn’t matter what kind of ugly sensationalism that reporter put out there. He decided to stop hiding.”
She paused as though she expected Christie to appreciate how hard it’d been for James to confront his past. Okay, Christie could understand his fears; still, that didn’t justify the way he’d abandoned her.
“Can’t you imagine what it must have been like for him?” Teri asked rhetorically. “He’s stayed in the shadows all these years and then to be thrust into the limelight without his knowledge or consent. It was his worst nightmare. Instinct took over, and he ran. Who’s to say what either of us would’ve done in the same situation? But once his head cleared, he came back, and the first person he asked to see was you.”
Christie’s resolve remained unchanged. “I learned something important about myself through all of this,” she said. “I don’t need a man.” It’d been a liberating insight. After each breakup, she’d instantly gone in search of a new relationship, afraid to be alone. Afraid that on her own she hadn’t been enough. All those associations had been with a certain type—drunks, drug addicts, assorted losers. Men she felt she could rescue with sufficient love, sympathy and understanding. Not to mention money…
In the dark, lonely hours after James’s defection, Christie had arrived at some conclusions. First, she was good enough—and no man would ever make her feel whole or complete. That had to come from within herself. Second, she had an excessive need to be needed. She recognized that about herself now and wasn’t about to fall back into the same patterns.
While she enjoyed her job, she wanted more. With her photography and business classes, Christie was going to establish a career. Initially, she’d take photographic assignments on her off-hours, while she still had the protection of a steady paycheck. No matter how long it took, she wasn’t about to let a man, any man, ruin her chances or stand in her way.
“I know you’re feeling hurt,” Teri said, “but I wish you’d give James another chance.”
Unwilling to bend, Christie shook her head.
Once she succeeded in steering the conversation away from James, she enjoyed the visit with her sister. Although Teri was positive and uncomplaining—other than in humorous asides—Christie knew this pregnancy had taken a toll on her. Teri was an active, social person, and she found being confined to the house extremely difficult.
Even though Christie preferred to avoid any possible contact with James, Teri needed her. She promised she’d stop by again in a day or two.
Bobby walked her to the front door, which was unusual. She figured he wanted to tell her something out