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and telling them that we should not rest until we have thoroughly crushed Tom Chambers’s company, which is all that stands between us and a virtual legal monopoly on network servers. I described our position, quite accurately, as “outnumbered and outgunned,” but suggested that sheer courage and resourcefulness could yet win the war, though I would also be willing to shift some cash from other Fairfax corporations into the fray. I went on to demonize Chambers as the head of an evil empire who would be content with nothing less than total domination of the world’s computers.

Although that representation is certainly true, I am ashamed of my martial hyperbole, and my forebears would be ashamed of me as well. For a hundred and fifty years the Fairfaxes have conducted their many enterprises with restraint and even temper, and I feel the ghostly censure of my father, my grandfather, and my great-grandfather for betraying that tradition.

Therefore, in order to assuage my guilt, I plan to institute—or rather, reinstate—a tradition which, I believe, has long been neglected and which will, I trust, add a touch of civility and goodwill to the practices of at least a dozen businessmen, myself and my most powerful competitors among them. …

CONSTITUTION

Article I. This Club shall be known as the New Zodiac, modelled after the original Zodiac dining club founded in 1868.

Article II. It shall be made up of twelve members, or Signs, who shall be addressed by the zodiacal sign assigned to them by lot.

Article III. The New Zodiac shall meet for dinner on the final Saturday evening of every month, the place to be selected by that month’s host, or caterer, who shall make all arrangements for the dinner, the cost of which shall be equally shared by the Signs. The cost of the wines and spirits shall be borne by the caterer.

CHARTER MEMBERS

Aquarius Mr.........Frank Reynolds

Pisces Mr.........Todd Arnold

Aries Mr.........Jeff Condelli

Taurus Mr.........Richard Rank

Gemini Mr.........Thomas Chambers

Cancer Mr.........Edward Devore

Leo Mr.........John Thornton

Virgo Mr.........Clark Taylor

Libra Mr.........Bruce Levine

Scorpio Mr.........Cary Black

Sagittarius Mr.........David Walsh

Capricorn Mr.........Henry Fairfax

November 25th:

I fear that I may have made a mistake in selecting the charter members of the New Zodiac. Only Ed Devore and John Thornton come, like myself, from old money, while the rest are all nouveau. The strength of the original Zodiac may have come from the fact that the Signs were all members of New York society in a time when society meant something. Through its history, the Zodiac boasted both J. P. Morgans, Senior and Junior, the Rev. Henry Van Dyke, Joseph H. Choate and John William Davis, both Ambassadors to the Court of St. James, Senator Nelson W. Aldrich, and other wealthy and powerful, and, above all, dignified, men who knew the importance of civility. In my effort to make the club more democratic, I simply selected the wealthiest and most powerful men, hoping to bring civility to those who most needed it, including myself.

But the first meeting was not as I had anticipated, even though I tried to recreate as best I could the original menu served at the very first dinner of the original Zodiac on February 29th, 1868. …

Minutes of the First Meeting of the New Zodiac

THE HOUGHTON CLUB, NEW YORK NOVEMBER 24TH, 20—

Present at table: All Signs. Capricorn, caterer.

MENU:

Oysters Selle de mouton

Potage à la Bagration Haricots vert

Bouchées à la Reine Salade—laitue—fromage

Terrapin à la Maryland Poudin glacé

Suprême de volatile Gâteaux

Asperges Fruits

Roman punch Café

WINES:

Krug 1982

Lafitte 1969

Chambertin 1947

Old brandy vintage 1895

It was moved by Brother Gemini to make Brother Capricorn, the member who initiated this series of dinners, the Secretary of the New Zodiac. A unanimous voice vote followed, after which Bro. Gemini observed that perhaps the extra work would keep Bro. Capricorn so busy that he would find no time “to f—over my business.” Much pleasant laughter followed,