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By Root 2721 0

going flash at the customers and her groodies near hanging out to advertise some new brand of cancers. What you could viddy then was a sort of a big ball rolling into the inside of the shop behind the curtain, this being old Dim and Slouse sort of locked in a death struggle. Then you could slooshy panting and snoring and kicking behind the curtain and veshches falling over and swearing and then glass going smash smash smash. Mother Slouse, the wife, was sort of froze behind the counter. We could tell she would creech murder given one chance, so I was round that counter very skorry and had a hold of her, and a horrorshow big lump she was too, all nuking of scent and with flipflop big bobbing groodies on her. I’d got my rooker round her rot to stop her belting out death and destruction to the four winds of heaven, but this lady doggie gave me a large foul big bite on it and it was me that did the creeching, and then she opened up beautiful with a flip yell for the millicents. Well, then she had to be tolchocked proper with one of the weights for the scales, and then a fair tap with a crowbar they had for opening cases, and that brought the red out like an old friend. So we had her down on the floor and a rip of her platties for fun and a gentle bit of the boot to stop her moaning. And, viddying her lying there with her groodies on show, I wondered should I or not, but that was for later on in the evening. Then we cleaned the till, and there was flip horrorshow takings that nochy, and we had a few packs of the very best top cancers apiece, then off we went, my brothers.

“A real big heavy great bastard he was,” Dim kept saying. I didn’t like the look of Dim: he looked dirty and untidy, like a veck who’d been in a fight, which he had been, of course, but you should never look as though you have been. His cravat was like someone had trampled on it, his maskie had been pulled off and he had floor-dirt on his litso, so we got him in an alleyway and tidied him up a malenky bit, soaking our tashtooks in spit to cheest the dirt off. The things we did for old Dim. We were back in the Duke of New York very skorry and I reckoned by my watch we hadn’t been more than ten minutes away. The starry old baboochkas were still there on the black and suds and Scotchmen we’d bought them, and we said: “Hallo there, girlies, what’s it going to be?” They started on the old “Very kind, lads, God bless you, boys,” and so we rang the collocol and brought a different waiter in this time and we ordered beers with rum in, being sore athirst, my brothers, and whatever the old ptitsas wanted. Then I said to the old baboochkas: “We haven’t been out of here, have we? Been here all the time, haven’t we?” They all caught on real skorry and said:

“That’s right, lads. Not been out of our sight, you haven’t. God bless you, boys,” drinking.

Not that it mattered much, really. About half an hour went by before there was any sign of life among the millicents, and then it was only two very young rozzes that came in, very pink under their big copper’s shlemmies. One said: “You lot know anything about the happenings at Slouse’s shop this night?”

“Us?” I said, innocent. “Why, what happened?”

“Stealing and roughing. Two hospitalizations. Where’ve you lot been this evening?”

“I don’t go for that nasty tone,” I said. “I don’t care much for these nasty insinuations. A very suspicious nature all this betokeneth, my little brothers.”

“They’ve been in here all night, lads,” the old sharps started to creech out. “God bless them, there’s no better lot of boys living for kindness and generosity. Been here all the time they have. Not seen them move we haven’t.”

“We’re only asking,” said the other young millicent. “We’ve got our job to do like anyone else.” But they gave us the nasty warning look before they went out. As they were going out we handed them a bit of lip-music: brrrrzzzzrrrr. But, myself, I couldn’t help a bit of disappointment at things as they were those days. Nothing to fight against really. Everything as easy as kiss-my-sharries. Still, the night was still