A Common Pornography_ A Memoir - Kevin Sampsell [0]
A Memoir
Kevin Sampsell
Contents
Author’s Note
Introduction
Washington Street
Egg Hunt
Attractions
Elinda
Reasons
Saved
After Medical Lake
Bird Whistles
Bedbugs
Last Man
One P, Another L
Spirits
Records
OK 95
Wet
J. V. Cain
Silhouette
Black
Cherokee Pride
Scratchmuback
Grapes
Car-Mull
Fights
Centerfolds
Chongo
Field Trip
Interim
Mayfair
The Manships
Mark
Dog Days
Themes
Pot
Space Shuttle
Russell
Gary
Seventh Grade
United
Monday Mornings
Tackle Football
Hostages
CCD
Protestant
Centipede
Jaynee
Rebuilding
Mt. Saint Helens
Hydroplanes
Vibrator
Nicknames
Country Music Memories
Confession
What I Would Think About During Mass
Physical
High Dive
Korea
Braces
Hiding Places
Troubled Girl
My Friend Pat
Trespass
Big Gulp
Suitcase
Pee-Chees
Joan Jett
Dunk Contests
Echo
Licorice
Lionel Live
Big Momma’s
Cruising
Late Movies
Pam
Sixty-three Times
Vodka and Squirt
Homemade Clothes
The Palace
Water Softeners
Neon Vomit
Daphne
Making the Band
Elvia
Yvette
Basement
The Stilts
Holly
Taternuts
Interruption
Broadcast School
Good-bye Soap
Seattle
Clinic
Broken
Acid
The Outlaw
Dog Grave
Big Dipper
Empty Nest
Gentle Dental
Spokane Girls
Arkansas
Aneurysm
The Viewing
No Eulogy
After
Olive Garden
Hotel
“Golden Child”
The Day After
The Smoking Room
Farewell Tour
Home
Acknowledgments
P.S Insights, Interviews & More…
About the Author
Praise
Other Books by Kevin Sampsell
Copyright
About the Publisher
Author’s Note
Some parts of this memoir were previously published in 2003 as a limited edition sixty-page book, also called A Common Pornography. It was written as a kind of memory experiment. A gathering of recollections from my small-town youth. Many people who read it told me they wanted to read more. I started to write more of these little vignettes, even though I wasn’t sure if I would actually publish a longer version of the book.
Then, in March 2008, my father died and I went back up to Kennewick, Washington, for his funeral. I was there for four days, looking through dusty boxes of photos, letters, documents, and odd memorabilia. There was no room for me to sleep at my mom’s house so one of my older brothers, Russell, let me stay with him in a nearby hotel room. Russell, and most of the other relatives who were in town for the funeral, are people I don’t know very well. Russell and Gary are my two oldest half brothers; along with my oldest sibling, my half sister, Elinda, they were not around as I was growing up. I stayed up late with Russell on my last night there, talking about Dad and hearing stories I’d never heard before.
That night, and the following day when my mother and I had a long private conversation, I discovered disturbing threads of my family history and realized I needed to write about them. Although it started as a book about myself, I wanted to pull back and get a wider view. I conducted interviews with my mom, brothers, and, perhaps most important, my sister, Elinda, who spoke frankly about things other people would not want to face. In some parts of the book, I state the specific thoughts and feelings of those people. This is not conjecture on my part. It is the recollected truth, as gathered through these interviews.
Introduction
In August 2008, I had a panic attack that forced me out of my home naked. It was three thirty in the morning. I was startled awake with the feeling of something holding me down in bed. I was in my apartment alone. My fourteen-year-old son was staying at his mother’s house that night. I looked around my bedroom as my eyes adjusted to the dark. My closet door was open, and a heap of dirty laundry was spilling out of it. I felt like something was standing there, watching me, ready to hurt me. Maybe it was my father. I tried to yell or scream, but I couldn’t fill my throat with air and the sound came out hoarse and hollow like it does sometimes when I have bad dreams.
I kicked the blankets off and pushed myself out of bed.