A Dangerous Fortune - Ken Follett [163]
“You were angry because I wouldn’t have an affair with you,” Maisie said brutally. “You were desperate for sexual release. And you picked Nora because she reminded you of me. But she’s not me, and now you’re unhappy.”
Hugh winced as if he had been struck. All this was painfully near to the truth. “You never liked her,” he said.
“And you may say I’m jealous, and you may be right, but I still say she never loved you and she married you for your money. I’ll bet you’ve found that to be true since the wedding, haven’t you?”
Hugh thought of how Nora refused to make love more than once a week, and how she changed her tune if he bought her gifts; and he felt miserable and looked away. “She’s always been deprived,” he said. “It’s not surprising that she became materialistic.”
“She was not as deprived as I was,” Maisie said scornfully. “Even you were taken out of school for want of money, Hugh. It’s no excuse for false values. The world is full of poor people who understand that love and friendship are more important than riches.”
Her scorn made Hugh defensive. “She’s not as bad as you make out.”
“All the same you’re not happy.”
Feeling confused, Hugh fell back on what he knew to be right. “Well, I’ve married her now, and I won’t leave her,” he said. “That’s what the vows mean.”
Maisie smiled tearfully. “I knew you would say that.”
Hugh had a sudden vision of Maisie naked, her round freckled breasts and the bush of red-gold hair at her groin, and he wished he could take back his high-principled words. Instead he stood up to go.
Maisie stood up too. “Thank you for coming, dear Hugh,” she said.
He intended to shake her hand but instead he bent to kiss her cheek; and then somehow he found himself kissing her lips. It was a soft, tender kiss that lingered for a long moment and almost destroyed Hugh’s resolve; but then at last he tore himself away and left the room without another word.
Ben Greenbourne’s house was another palace a few yards along Piccadilly. Hugh went straight there after seeing Maisie. He was glad to have something to do, some way of taking his mind off the turmoil in his heart. He asked for the old man. “Say it’s a matter of great urgency,” he told the butler. While he waited he noticed that the mirrors in the hall were covered, and he guessed this was part of the Jewish mourning ritual.
Maisie had thrown him off balance. When he saw her his heart had filled with love and longing. He knew he could never be truly happy without her. But Nora was his wife. She had brought warmth and affection into his life after Maisie rejected him, and that was why he had married her. What was the point of making promises in a wedding ceremony if you were going to change your mind later?
The butler showed Hugh into the library. Six or seven people were just going, leaving Ben Greenbourne alone. He had no shoes on and sat on a plain wooden stool. A table was piled with fruit and pastries for visitors.
Greenbourne was past sixty—Solly had been a late child—and he looked old and worn, but he showed no sign of tears. He stood up, straight-backed and formal as ever, and shook hands, then waved Hugh to another stool.
Greenbourne had an old letter in his hand. “Listen to this,” he said, and he began to read. “‘Dear Papa, We have a new Latin teacher, Reverend Green, and I am getting on much better, ten out of ten every day last week. Waterford caught a rat in the broom cupboard and he is trying to train it to eat out of his hand. The food here is too little, can you send me a cake? Your loving son, Solomon.’” He folded the letter. “He was fourteen when he wrote that.”
Hugh saw that Greenbourne was suffering despite his rigid self-control. “I remember that rat,” he said. “It bit Waterford’s forefinger off.”
“How I wish I could turn back the years,” Greenbourne said, and Hugh saw that the old man’s self-control was weakening.
“I must be one of Solly’s oldest friends,” Hugh said.
“Indeed. He always admired you, although you were younger.”
“I can’t think why. But he was always ready to think the best of people.”
“He was too