A Dark Night's Work [42]
father had decided it for her, or else she would fain have stayed away--she would hardly acknowledge why, even to herself, but it seemed to her as if the very words and presence of God must there search her and find her out.
She went early, leaning on the arm of her lover, and trying to forget the past in the present. They walked slowly along between the rows of waving golden corn ripe for the harvest. Mr. Corbet gathered blue and scarlet flowers, and made up a little rustic nosegay for her. She took and stuck it in her girdle, smiling faintly as she did so.
Hamley Church had, in former days, been collegiate, and was, in consequence, much larger and grander than the majority of country- town churches. The Ford Bank pew was a square one, downstairs; the Ford Bank servants sat in a front pew in the gallery, right before their master. Ellinor was "hardening her heart" not to listen, not to hearken to what might disturb the wound which was just being skinned over, when she caught Dixon's face up above. He looked worn, sad, soured, and anxious to a miserable degree; but he was straining eyes and ears, heart and soul, to hear the solemn words read from the pulpit, as if in them alone he could find help in his strait. Ellinor felt rebuked and humbled.
She was in a tumultuous state of mind when they left church; she wished to do her duty, yet could not ascertain what it was. Who was to help her with wisdom and advice? Assuredly he to whom her future life was to be trusted. But the case must be stated in an impersonal form. No one, not even her husband, must ever know anything against her father from her. Ellinor was so artless herself, that she had little idea how quickly and easily some people can penetrate motives, and combine disjointed sentences. She began to speak to Ralph on their slow, sauntering walk homewards through the quiet meadows:
"Suppose, Ralph, that a girl was engaged to be married--"
"I can very easily suppose that, with you by me," said he, filling up her pause.
"Oh! but I don't mean myself at all," replied she, reddening. "I am only thinking of what might happen; and suppose that this girl knew of some one belonging to her--we will call it a brother--who had done something wrong, that would bring disgrace upon the whole family if it was known--though, indeed, it might not have been so very wrong as it seemed, and as it would look to the world--ought she to break off her engagement for fear of involving her lover in the disgrace?"
"Certainly not, without telling him her reason for doing so."
"Ah! but suppose she could not. She might not be at liberty to do so."
"I can't answer supposititious cases. I must have the facts--if facts there are--more plainly before me before I can give an opinion. Who are you thinking of, Ellinor?" asked he, rather abruptly.
"Oh, of no one," she answered in affright. "Why should I be thinking of any one? I often try to plan out what I should do, or what I ought to do, if such and such a thing happened, just as you recollect I used to wonder if I should have presence of mind in case of fire."
"Then, after all, you yourself are the girl who is engaged, and who has the imaginary brother who gets into disgrace?"
"Yes, I suppose so," said she, a little annoyed at having betrayed any personal interest in the affair.
He was silent, meditating.
"There is nothing wrong in it," said she, timidly, "is there?"
"I think you had better tell me fully out what is in your mind," he replied, kindly. "Something has happened which has suggested these questions. Are you putting yourself in the place of any one about whom you have been hearing lately? I know you used to do so formerly, when you were a little girl."
"No; it was a very foolish question of mine, and I ought not to have said anything about it. See! here is Mr. Ness overtaking us."
The clergyman joined them on the broad walk that ran by the river- side, and the talk became general. It was a relief to Ellinor, who had not attained her end, but who had gone far towards betraying
She went early, leaning on the arm of her lover, and trying to forget the past in the present. They walked slowly along between the rows of waving golden corn ripe for the harvest. Mr. Corbet gathered blue and scarlet flowers, and made up a little rustic nosegay for her. She took and stuck it in her girdle, smiling faintly as she did so.
Hamley Church had, in former days, been collegiate, and was, in consequence, much larger and grander than the majority of country- town churches. The Ford Bank pew was a square one, downstairs; the Ford Bank servants sat in a front pew in the gallery, right before their master. Ellinor was "hardening her heart" not to listen, not to hearken to what might disturb the wound which was just being skinned over, when she caught Dixon's face up above. He looked worn, sad, soured, and anxious to a miserable degree; but he was straining eyes and ears, heart and soul, to hear the solemn words read from the pulpit, as if in them alone he could find help in his strait. Ellinor felt rebuked and humbled.
She was in a tumultuous state of mind when they left church; she wished to do her duty, yet could not ascertain what it was. Who was to help her with wisdom and advice? Assuredly he to whom her future life was to be trusted. But the case must be stated in an impersonal form. No one, not even her husband, must ever know anything against her father from her. Ellinor was so artless herself, that she had little idea how quickly and easily some people can penetrate motives, and combine disjointed sentences. She began to speak to Ralph on their slow, sauntering walk homewards through the quiet meadows:
"Suppose, Ralph, that a girl was engaged to be married--"
"I can very easily suppose that, with you by me," said he, filling up her pause.
"Oh! but I don't mean myself at all," replied she, reddening. "I am only thinking of what might happen; and suppose that this girl knew of some one belonging to her--we will call it a brother--who had done something wrong, that would bring disgrace upon the whole family if it was known--though, indeed, it might not have been so very wrong as it seemed, and as it would look to the world--ought she to break off her engagement for fear of involving her lover in the disgrace?"
"Certainly not, without telling him her reason for doing so."
"Ah! but suppose she could not. She might not be at liberty to do so."
"I can't answer supposititious cases. I must have the facts--if facts there are--more plainly before me before I can give an opinion. Who are you thinking of, Ellinor?" asked he, rather abruptly.
"Oh, of no one," she answered in affright. "Why should I be thinking of any one? I often try to plan out what I should do, or what I ought to do, if such and such a thing happened, just as you recollect I used to wonder if I should have presence of mind in case of fire."
"Then, after all, you yourself are the girl who is engaged, and who has the imaginary brother who gets into disgrace?"
"Yes, I suppose so," said she, a little annoyed at having betrayed any personal interest in the affair.
He was silent, meditating.
"There is nothing wrong in it," said she, timidly, "is there?"
"I think you had better tell me fully out what is in your mind," he replied, kindly. "Something has happened which has suggested these questions. Are you putting yourself in the place of any one about whom you have been hearing lately? I know you used to do so formerly, when you were a little girl."
"No; it was a very foolish question of mine, and I ought not to have said anything about it. See! here is Mr. Ness overtaking us."
The clergyman joined them on the broad walk that ran by the river- side, and the talk became general. It was a relief to Ellinor, who had not attained her end, but who had gone far towards betraying