A Day to Pick Your Own Cotton - Michael R. Phillips [17]
And I couldn’t help thinking from time to time about my own status too. I was a runaway slave just like Emma was. Like I’d said to Katie, there wasn’t any two ways about it—bad things happened to runaways. I wondered what had happened to my master and the rest of the plantation. Had they been killed too, like my family? When Katie and me had gone back, I hadn’t seen or heard anything. But I hadn’t felt like getting none too close to the plantation house to find out. I didn’t want anybody to see me. But now I found myself wondering. If they hadn’t been killed, and if they found me, I’d be in big trouble. For all I knew Mr. McSimmons knew who’d been killed and who hadn’t and was out looking for me.
So I decided to go back to the McSimmons place again. I reckon it was a stupid thing to do, because if they got their hands on me, they’d put me to work or into some bed with a man. I’d heard about some of the McSimmons boys, and I didn’t like the thought of that one bit. But I had to know what had happened to the rest of them, and what was likely to happen to me. I couldn’t think straight to help Katie know what to do unless I had some idea about myself.
I thought about it for a week or more. Part of me was terrified to go back again. Somehow I think I knew I’d get seen. Another part of me didn’t want to do that to Katie. But finally I couldn’t hardly think of nothing else. I had to find out if anybody was alive or not.
So finally one day I told Katie that I was going back to my old house again.
“But, Miss Katie,” I added, “I need to go alone.”
Her eyes started getting big like they did. All of a sudden she was a little girl again.
“I’m sorry, Miss Katie, but I got to do it,” I said.
“But what if they make you go back to work, Mayme,” she said in a shaky voice. “What if you never come back … what will I do then? How will I take care of Emma?”
“If that happens, I promise I’ll get word to you somehow,” I said. “But I’ll be real careful.”
“Please don’t go, Mayme. I’ll be afraid without you. Why do you have to go?”
“It’s just something I think I’m supposed to do. I gotta find out if they’re looking for me. I don’t think I could stand having that over my head all my life.”
“How … how long will you be gone, Mayme?”
“Just a day.”
“When are you going?”
“Tomorrow.”
Katie looked away. I knew she was starting to cry.
“I’ll hurry as fast as I can, Miss Katie,” I said, facing her back.
“You’ll … you’ll ride, won’t you?” she said, still looking away.
“If you want me to, Katie.”
She only nodded, then got up and left the room.
I got up early the next morning. Katie got up with me. We hadn’t told Emma. There was no need to. Neither of us said much. When the horse was saddled and I was ready, Katie reached out and took my hand and held it tight.
“Mayme,” she said, and her voice was stronger now and she had gotten over her crying from yesterday, “you come back.” She looked straight into my eyes as earnestly as I’d ever seen her. “I can’t do this without you, Mayme,” she said. “I’m afraid. So you come back.”
“I will, Katie,” I said. “I promise.”
She let go of my hand. I saw her take in a breath, a little quivery, but she tried to smile. I got up on the horse and smiled down. Then I turned and rode away along the road toward town.
“Be careful!” she called out behind me. “Don’t let anyone see you. And hurry, Mayme!”
The idea in my head was to sneak up close to the plantation house and see what I could see. I kept to the road but didn’t hurry. I was thinking about a lot of things and I didn’t care if it took me all day. I just walked the horse slow, and whenever I saw somebody coming I got off into the woods to hide, waited till they were past, then continued on.
I went first to the slave cabins like we had before, and tied the horse a little ways away. It was still mostly deserted, but now