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A Death in the Family - James Agee [116]

By Root 807 0
could hear it in the voices of the two women, which now and again, when he seemed to pause for breath, chimed in with a short word or two, a few times with whole sentences. Both their voices were more tender, more alive, and more inhuman, than they had ever heard them before; and this remoteness from humanity troubled them. They realized that there was something to which their mother and their great-aunt were devoted, something which gave their voices peculiar vitality and charm, which was beyond and outside any love that was felt for them; and they felt that this meant even more to their mother and their great-aunt than they did, or than anyone else in the world did. They realized, fairly clearly, that the object of this devotion was not this man whom they mistrusted, but they felt that he was altogether too deeply involved in it. And they felt that although everything was better for their mother than it had been a few minutes before, it was far worse in one way. For before, she had at least been questioning, however gently. But now she was wholly defeated and entranced, and the transition to prayer was the moment and mark of her surrender. They stared so long and so gloomily at the doorknob, turning over such unhappy and uncertain intuitions in their souls, that the staring, round white knob became all that they saw in the universe except a subtly beating haze pervaded with magnificent quiet sound; so that when the doorbell rang they were so frightened that their hearts contracted.

Then, with almost equal terror, they realized that they would be caught on the stairs. They started down, in haste as desperate as their efforts to be silent. The door burst open above them. She can’t see, they realized (for it was Hannah who came out), and in the same instant they realized: but she can hear better than anybody. A stair creaked loudly; terror struck them; against it, they continued. “Yes,” Hannah called sharply; she was already on the stairs. The doorbell rang again. On the last stair, they were hideously noisy; they wanted only to disappear in time. They ducked through the sitting-room door and watched her pass; they were as insane with excitement as if they could still dare hope they had not been discovered, and solemnly paralyzed in the inevitability of dreadful reprimand and of physical pain.

Hannah didn’t even glance back at them: she went straight to the door.

It was Mr. Starr. Usually he wore suits as brown and hairy as his mustache, but this morning he wore a dark blue suit and a black tie. In his hand he carried a black derby.

“Walter,” Aunt Hannah said, “you know what all you’re doing means to us.”

“Aw now,” Walter said.

“Come in,” she said. “Mary’ll be right down. Children, you know Mr. Starr ...”

“Course we do,” Mr. Starr said, smiling at them with his warm brown eyes through the lenses. He put the hand holding the derby on Rufus’ shoulder and the other on Catherine’s cheek. “You come on in and sit with me, will you, till your mother’s ready.”

He walked straight for their father’s chair, veered unhappily, and sat on a chair next the wall.

“Well, so you’re coming down and visit us,” he said.

“Huh?”

“Coming down,” Walter said. “Or ma—did your mama say anything about maybe you were coming down sometime, and pay us a visit?”

“Huh-uh.”

“Oh, well, there’s lots of time. Did you ever hear a gramophone?”

“She can’t hardly hear when she does.”

“Eigh?” He seemed extremely puzzled.

“Uncle Andrew says she’s crazy even to try.”

“Who?”

“Why, Granma.” Mr. Starr had never before seemed stupid, but now Rufus began to think his memory was as bad as those of the boys at the corner. Could he be teasing? It would be very queer if Mr. Starr would tease. He decided he should trust him. “You know, when she phones, like you said.”

Mr. Starr thought that over for a moment and then he seemed to understand. But almost the moment he understood he started to laugh, so he must have been teasing, after all. Rufus was deeply hurt. Then almost immediately he stopped laughing as if he were shocked at himself.

“Well now,” he said.

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