A Discovery of Witches - Deborah Harkness [259]
Our families were locked in the dining room, and Sarah was threatening to throw us all out. We had enough problems without severing ties with Ysabeau and Marthe.
“What was it that Abraham Lincoln said about houses?”
“‘A house divided against itself cannot stand,’” Matthew said, a puzzled look on his face.
“Exactly. Give me the phone.” Reluctantly he did so.
“Diana?” Ysabeau’s voice had an uncharacteristic edge.
“No matter what Matthew has said, I’m not angry with you. No harm was done.”
“Thank you,” she breathed. “I have been trying to tell him—it was only a feeling that we had, something half remembered from very long ago. Diana was the goddess of fertility then. Your scent reminds me of those times, and of the priestesses who helped women conceive.”
Matthew’s eyes touched me through the darkness.
“You’ll tell Marthe, too?”
“I will, Diana.” She paused. “Matthew has shared your test results and Marcus’s theories with me. It is a sign of how much they have startled him, that he told your tale. I do not know whether to weep with joy or sorrow at the news.”
“It’s early days, Ysabeau—maybe both?”
She laughed softly. “It will not be the first time my children have driven me to tears. But I wouldn’t give up the sorrow if it meant giving up the joy as well.”
“Is everything all right at home?” The words escaped before I thought them through, and Matthew’s eyes softened.
“Home?” The significance of the word was not lost on Ysabeau either. “Yes, we are all well here. It is very . . . quiet since you both left.”
My eyes filled with tears. Despite Ysabeau’s sharp edges, there was something so maternal about her. “Witches are noisier than vampires, I’m afraid.”
“Yes. And happiness is always louder than sadness. There hasn’t been enough happiness in this house.” Her voice grew brisk. “Matthew has said everything to me that he needs to say. We must hope the worst of his anger has been spent. You will take care of each other.” Ysabeau’s last sentence was a statement of fact. It was what the women in her family—my family—did for those they loved.
“Always.” I looked at my vampire, his white skin gleaming in the dark, and pushed the red button to disconnect the line. The fields on either side of the driveway were frost-covered, the ice crystals catching the faint traces of moonlight coming through the clouds.
“Did you suspect, too? Is that why you won’t make love to me?” I asked Matthew.
“I told you my reasons. Making love should be about intimacy, not just physical need.” He sounded frustrated at having to repeat himself.
“If you don’t want to have children with me, I will understand,” I said firmly, though part of me quietly protested.
His hands were rough on my arms. “Christ, Diana, how can you think that I wouldn’t want our children? But it might be dangerous—for you, for them.”
“There’s always risk with pregnancy. Not even you control nature.”
“We have no idea what our children would be. What if they shared my need for blood?”
“All babies are vampires, Matthew. They’re all nourished with their mother’s blood.”
“It’s not the same, and you know it. I gave up all hope of children long ago.” Our eyes met, searching for reassurance that nothing between us had changed. “But it’s too soon for me to imagine losing you.”
And I couldn’t bear losing our children.
Matthew’s unspoken words were as clear to me as an owl hooting overhead. The pain of Lucas’s loss would never leave him. It cut deeper than the deaths of Blanca or Eleanor. When he lost Lucas, he lost part of himself that could never be recovered.
“So you’ve decided. No children. You’re sure.” I rested my hands on his chest, waiting for the next beat of his heart.
“I’m not sure of anything,” Matthew said. “We haven’t had time to discuss it.”
“Then we’ll take every precaution. I’ll drink Marthe’s tea.”
“You’ll do a damn sight more than that,” he said grimly. “That stuff is better than nothing, but it’s a far cry from modern medicine. Even so, no human form of contraception may be effective when it comes to witches and vampires.”
“I’ll take the pills anyway,