A Handful of Dust - Evelyn Waugh [28]
"Have you got such a thing as a cigarette?" Tony danced with Babs. She said, "Are you fond of dancing?" "No, are you?" "So-so." "Well, let's sit down." The waiter said, "Will you a buy a ticket in a raffle for box of chocolates?" "No." "Buy one for me," said Babs. Jock began to describe the specifications of the Basic Pig. ... Milly said, "You're married, aren't you?" "No," said Jock. "Oh I can always tell," said Milly. "Your friend is too." "Yes, he is." "You'd be surprised how many gentlemen come here just to talk about their wives." "He hasn't." Tony was leaning across the table and saying to Babs, "You see the trouble is my wife is studious. She's taking a course in economics." Babs said, "I think it's nice for a girl to be interested in things." The waiter said, "What will you be taking for supper?" "Why we've only just had dinner." "How about a nice haddock?" "I tell you what I must do, is to telephone. Where is it?" "D'you mean really the telephone or the gentlemen's?" "No, the telephone." "U'stairs in the office." Tony rang up Brenda. It was some time before she answered, then, "Yes, who is it?" "I have a message here from Mr. Anthony Last and Mr. Jocelyn Grant-Menzies." "Oh, it's you Tony. Well, what do you want?" "You recognised my voice?" "I did." "Well, I only wanted to give a message but as I am speaking to you I can give it myself, can't I?" "Yes." "Well Jock and I are terribly sorry but we can't come round this evening after all." "Oh." "You don't think it very rude I hope, but we have a lot to attend to." "That's all right, Tony." "Did I wake you up by any chance?" "That's all right, Tony," "Well, goodnight." "Goodnight." Tony went down to the table. "I've been talking to Brenda. She sounded rather annoyed. D'you think we ought to go round there." "We promised we would," said Jock. "You should never disappoint a lady," said Milly. "Oh it's too late now." Babs said, "You two are officers, aren't you?" "No, why?" "I thought you were." Milly said, "I like business gentlemen best, myself. They've more to say." "What d'you do?" "I design postman's hats," said Jock. "Oh, go on." "And my friend here trains sea lions." "Tell us another." Babs said, "I got a gentleman friend who works on a newspaper." After a time Jock said, "I say, ought we to do something about Brenda?" "You told her we weren't coming, didn't you?" "Yes... but she might still be hoping." "I tell you what, you go and ring her up and find out if she really wants us." "All right." He came back ten minutes later. "I thought she sounded rather annoyed," he reported. "But I said in the end we wouldn't come." "She may be tired," said Tony. "Has to get up early to do economics. Now I come to think of it someone did say she was tired, earlier on in the evening." "I say what's this frightful piece of fish?" "The waiter said you ordered it." "Perhaps I did." "I'll give it to the club cat," said Babs, "she's a dear called Blackberry." They danced once or twice. Then Jock said, "D'you think we ought to ring up Brenda again?" "Perhaps we ought. She sounded annoyed with us." "Let's go now and ring her up on the way out." "Aren't you coming home with us?" said Babs. "Not tonight, I'm afraid." "Be a sport," said Milly. "No, we can't really." "All right. Well how about a little present? We're professional dancing partners, you know," said Babs. "Oh yes, sorry, how much?" "Oh, we leave that to the gentlemen." Tony gave them a pound. "You might make it a bit more," said Babs. "We've sat with you two hours." Jock gave another pound. "Come and see us again one evening when you've more time," said Milly. "I'm feeling rather ill," said Tony on the way upstairs. "Don't think I shall bother to ring up Brenda." "Send a message." "That's a good idea... Look here," he said to the seedy commissionaire. "Will you ring up this Sloane number and speak to her ladyship and say Mr. Grant-Menzies and Mr. Last are very sorry but they cannot call this evening. Got that?" He gave the man half a crown and they sauntered out into Sink Street. "Brenda can't expect us to do more than that,"