A Hero of Our Time [67]
And what a haughty smile! All the same, I am convinced that he is a coward -- yes, a coward!"
"I think so too," said Grushnitski. "He is fond of getting himself out of trouble by pre- tending to be only having a joke. I once gave him such a talking to that anyone else in his place would have cut me to pieces on the spot. But Pechorin turned it all to the ridiculous side. I, of course, did not call him out because that was his business, but he did not care to have anything more to do with it."
"Grushnitski is angry with him for having captured Princess Mary from him," somebody said.
"That's a new idea! It is true I did run after Princess Mary a little, but I left off at once be- cause I do not want to get married; and it is against my rules to compromise a girl."
"Yes, I assure you that he is a coward of the first water, I mean Pechorin, not Grushnitski -- but Grushnitski is a fine fellow, and, besides, he is my true friend!" the captain of dragoons went on.
"Gentlemen! Nobody here stands up for him? Nobody? So much the better! Would you like to put his courage to the test? It would be amusing" . . .
"We would; but how?"
"Listen here, then: Grushnitski in particular is angry with him -- therefore to Grushnitski falls the chief part. He will pick a quarrel over some silly trifle or other, and will challenge Pechorin to a duel. . . Wait a bit; here is where the joke comes in. . . He will challenge him to a duel; very well! The whole proceed- ing -- challenge, preparations, conditions -- will be as solemn and awe-inspiring as possible -- I will see to that. I will be your second, my poor friend! Very well! Only here is the rub; we will put no bullets in the pistols. I can answer for it that Pechorin will turn coward -- I will place them six paces apart, devil take it! Are you agreed, gentlemen?"
"Splendid idea! . . . Agreed! . . . And why not?" . . . came from all sides.
"And you, Grushnitski?"
Tremblingly I awaited Grushnitski's answer. I was filled with cold rage at the thought that, but for an accident, I might have made myself the laughing-stock of those fools. If Grushnitski had not agreed, I should have thrown myself upon his neck; but, after an interval of silence, he rose from his place, extended his hand to the captain, and said very gravely:
"Very well, I agree!"
It would be difficult to describe the enthusiasm of that honourable company.
I returned home, agitated by two different feel- ings. The first was sorrow.
"Why do they all hate me?" I thought -- "why? Have I affronted anyone? No. Can it be that I am one of those men the mere sight of whom is enough to create animosity?"
And I felt a venomous rage gradually filling my soul.
"Have a care, Mr. Grushnitski!" I said, walk- ing up and down the room: "I am not to be jested with like this! You may pay dearly for the approbation of your foolish comrades. I am not your toy!" . . .
I got no sleep that night. By daybreak I was as yellow as an orange.
In the morning I met Princess Mary at the well.
"You are ill?" she said, looking intently at me.
"I did not sleep last night."
"Nor I either. . . I was accusing you . . . perhaps groundlessly. But explain yourself, I can forgive you everything" . . .
"Everything?" . . .
"Everything . . . only speak the truth . . . and be quick. . . You see, I have been thinking a good deal, trying to explain, to justify, your be- haviour. Perhaps you are afraid of opposition on the part of my relations . . . that will not matter. When they learn" . . .
Her voice shook.
"I will win them over by entreaties. Or, is it your own position? . . . But you know that I can sacrifice everything for the sake of the man I love. . . Oh, answer quickly -- have pity. . . You do not despise me -- do you?"
She seized my hand.
Princess Ligovski was walking in front of us with Vera's husband, and had not seen anything; but we might have been observed by some of the invalids who were strolling about -- the most in- quisitive gossips of all inquisitive
"I think so too," said Grushnitski. "He is fond of getting himself out of trouble by pre- tending to be only having a joke. I once gave him such a talking to that anyone else in his place would have cut me to pieces on the spot. But Pechorin turned it all to the ridiculous side. I, of course, did not call him out because that was his business, but he did not care to have anything more to do with it."
"Grushnitski is angry with him for having captured Princess Mary from him," somebody said.
"That's a new idea! It is true I did run after Princess Mary a little, but I left off at once be- cause I do not want to get married; and it is against my rules to compromise a girl."
"Yes, I assure you that he is a coward of the first water, I mean Pechorin, not Grushnitski -- but Grushnitski is a fine fellow, and, besides, he is my true friend!" the captain of dragoons went on.
"Gentlemen! Nobody here stands up for him? Nobody? So much the better! Would you like to put his courage to the test? It would be amusing" . . .
"We would; but how?"
"Listen here, then: Grushnitski in particular is angry with him -- therefore to Grushnitski falls the chief part. He will pick a quarrel over some silly trifle or other, and will challenge Pechorin to a duel. . . Wait a bit; here is where the joke comes in. . . He will challenge him to a duel; very well! The whole proceed- ing -- challenge, preparations, conditions -- will be as solemn and awe-inspiring as possible -- I will see to that. I will be your second, my poor friend! Very well! Only here is the rub; we will put no bullets in the pistols. I can answer for it that Pechorin will turn coward -- I will place them six paces apart, devil take it! Are you agreed, gentlemen?"
"Splendid idea! . . . Agreed! . . . And why not?" . . . came from all sides.
"And you, Grushnitski?"
Tremblingly I awaited Grushnitski's answer. I was filled with cold rage at the thought that, but for an accident, I might have made myself the laughing-stock of those fools. If Grushnitski had not agreed, I should have thrown myself upon his neck; but, after an interval of silence, he rose from his place, extended his hand to the captain, and said very gravely:
"Very well, I agree!"
It would be difficult to describe the enthusiasm of that honourable company.
I returned home, agitated by two different feel- ings. The first was sorrow.
"Why do they all hate me?" I thought -- "why? Have I affronted anyone? No. Can it be that I am one of those men the mere sight of whom is enough to create animosity?"
And I felt a venomous rage gradually filling my soul.
"Have a care, Mr. Grushnitski!" I said, walk- ing up and down the room: "I am not to be jested with like this! You may pay dearly for the approbation of your foolish comrades. I am not your toy!" . . .
I got no sleep that night. By daybreak I was as yellow as an orange.
In the morning I met Princess Mary at the well.
"You are ill?" she said, looking intently at me.
"I did not sleep last night."
"Nor I either. . . I was accusing you . . . perhaps groundlessly. But explain yourself, I can forgive you everything" . . .
"Everything?" . . .
"Everything . . . only speak the truth . . . and be quick. . . You see, I have been thinking a good deal, trying to explain, to justify, your be- haviour. Perhaps you are afraid of opposition on the part of my relations . . . that will not matter. When they learn" . . .
Her voice shook.
"I will win them over by entreaties. Or, is it your own position? . . . But you know that I can sacrifice everything for the sake of the man I love. . . Oh, answer quickly -- have pity. . . You do not despise me -- do you?"
She seized my hand.
Princess Ligovski was walking in front of us with Vera's husband, and had not seen anything; but we might have been observed by some of the invalids who were strolling about -- the most in- quisitive gossips of all inquisitive