A Hole in the Universe - Mary McGarry Morris [109]
“I don’t want anything,” he said, drawing back.
“Then why the fuck didn’t you let it burn?”
He didn’t understand men like his brother and Neil, he thought as he walked home. Didn’t they know how close to the edge they walked? Couldn’t they feel the frenzy, like particles of mad, fatal energy charging the very air they breathed?
The next day, Eddie Chapman was sitting in his truck outside the Market. One of his laborers was with him, a burly young fellow with a thin ponytail halfway down his back.
Probably here to clean the mess out back, Gordon thought as he reached to open the door.
“Hey! Hey, Loomis!” Eddie called, climbing down from the truck. He and the laborer walked toward him.
“How’re you doing, Eddie?” He smiled and held the door open for them.
“Shut the door,” Eddie said.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“You’re through. You’re done. You don’t need to go in there,” Eddie said.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re fired, plain and simple.”
“I don’t understand.”
Serena and June watched from their registers, arms folded and tense.
“What’s to understand? You don’t work here anymore.”
“But why? I mean . . . why?”
“Jesus! I gotta spell it out for you? It’s like one thing after another.”
Gordon opened the door, and Eddie’s arm blocked him. “I want to talk to Neil,” he said, pushing past. He hurried to the back of the store, past Leo, who continued splitting chicken breasts with his cleaver. With the men right behind, he knocked on the door and Neil opened it, startled to see him.
“What? What’re you doing here? What do you want?”
“Why are you firing me, Neil? What did I do?”
“People are nervous. They don’t feel safe anymore.” Neil peered around him at his brother-in-law.
“Why? What did I do?”
“Jesus Christ!” Eddie growled. “You almost burned the whole fucking place down.”
“No! It wasn’t me. Neil, you know—”
“All I know is I don’t want any trouble. And you don’t, either, do you, Gloom? Besides, it’s not like I even hired you in the first place. And Eddie, he didn’t know, so, What the hell, I said to myself, we’ll give it a go, see what happens. But after last night, Christ, I mean, this is a whole new ball game. And it’s not just my employees, I got customers to think of here. Public safety, you know? Here. Take it.” He stuffed a wad of bills into Gordon’s hand. “Tide you over, okay?”
Dullness prevailed. His appetite was gone. Even his vision was off. Everything seemed murky, as if he were peering through a soiled curtain. Sunshine swelled in the windows, but the little house stayed cold and gray inside. Where once he had found peace in this stillness, now there was a constant watery rush in the air. The phone rang unanswered. He opened the front door just wide enough to get the mail. The roses were dropping leaves. Mrs. Jukas went back and forth to appointments in a MediVan. Loose papers and fast-food detritus littered both their lawns. Is that all that would be left? Who in the end would care? His sleep was riddled with distorted faces and frantic prison voices. In last night’s dream he sat naked on Mrs. Jukas’s porch, masturbating while women and children ran off screaming. Janine Walters was the only one who stayed. She watched with an indulgent smile, then began to pant with him, moaning as he pushed away from her bed, then looked down at her cold, staring eyes and her open mouth’s blunted scream.
The phone rang, and once again the machine clicked on. “Gordon! If you’re there, will you please pick up?” Delores said, and he cringed. “Please! I’m so worried about you. All right, that’s it. I’m coming—”
He picked up the phone and told her he wasn’t feeling too well, that was all. She wanted to come right over. She’d stop at the deli for some chicken soup. Was there anything else he wanted or needed? She’d be going right by the drugstore. No, no, he tried to explain. It wasn’t that he was sick. He just hadn’t felt like going anywhere. Or seeing anyone.
“Oh. Oh, all right,” she said quickly.
There was silence,