A Hole in the Universe - Mary McGarry Morris [24]
“Well, go change. I’ve got things you can wear.”
“He doesn’t want to, Dennis. I already asked him,” Lisa said. “Now will you go put the swordfish on? Please?”
Gordon followed him onto the deck. “What’s that you’re putting on?” he asked of the oily mixture Dennis was brushing onto the fish.
“I don’t know, some kind of marinade.” Dennis kept adjusting the flame.
“What does it do?”
“Keeps the fish wet. Moist. I don’t know, something like that,” he said with an irritable toss of his hand.
“If anyone asks me in the Market, now I’ll know what it’s for.”
“Yeah.” Dennis moved the swordfish to the back of the grill. He closed the hood, opening it again a few minutes later to turn the swordfish. He brushed more marinade onto the cooked side.
Gordon fidgeted in the silence. He regretted mentioning the Market. He bent over the railing and sniffed at the pink flowers in the window box.
“They don’t smell. They’re geraniums.” Dennis sounded annoyed.
“Oh, that’s right. Mom used to plant those. Red ones. By the front steps. Maybe I’ll do that. I did some work on Dad’s roses. Quite a bit, actually. Yeah, I got rid of a lot of the dead stuff. You should see all the new shoots.”
“Oh, yeah?” Dennis glanced back as if to say something, then sighed and began moving the swordfish around on the grill again.
Gordon remembered these moods, even when Dennis had been little. Like black clouds obscuring the sun, they could pass as quickly as they came. But for as long as they lasted, everyone would feel not only their chill, but a kind of desolation. Gordon cleared his throat. “Boy, that’s some grill. It’s huge. It must be twice as big as the stove at home.”
Dennis’s head shot up. “It was the only one that would fit into that miserable little kitchen.”
“No, no! I wasn’t complaining. I just meant the grill, it’s so big. I never saw one so—”
“You don’t have to stay there.” Dennis glanced toward the kitchen. “As a matter of fact, I was just talking to the Realtor. She said she’d be glad to get you an appraisal on the house.”
“But I don’t want to move. I—”
“Why? Give me one good reason you wouldn’t rather be living in a brand-new condo with all the latest modern conveniences.”
“I like it where I am. I know where everything is.” He tried not to be rattled by his brother’s smirk. They’d been all through this before. “It’s comfortable, and I like puttering around. Plus I’m so close to work I don’t have to—”
“So what was the degree for, then? All those courses? All the money, what the hell was that all about?”
“I said I’d pay you back. I always said that,” he mumbled, feeling like a leech again.
“You know I don’t give a damn about the money!” Dennis exploded, leaning close. A wind gust roiled through the trees. The swordfish sizzled, and the flames sputtered an orangy blue. “All I want is for you to have some kind of normal life, that’s all I want. Jesus Christ! Is that so hard to understand?”
More than hard, it was almost unfathomable that Dennis could think normal life was possible. But then how could his brother understand his meager expectations when Dennis’s had always been fueled by that relentless optimism and drive that delivered men like him to success? “I know,” Gordon conceded rather than argue. “I guess I’m just trying to get a feel for things. I just need to take it slow at first.”
“Fine! I can understand that. I just hate seeing you settle for less all the time, that’s all.” Dennis patted his shoulder. The light was back in his pale eyes. “So anyway, this gal I know, the Realtor I was talking about, she’s going to call you. Her name’s Jilly Cross. I asked her to show you some condos.”
“Condos?” Lisa said, coming onto the deck with a large blue bowl of salad. “Don’t tell me. Not condos again. Dennis should get his broker’s license. Lately everyone he meets he’s trying to sell condos to. Last week after church he’s got Father Hensile by the arm, trying to talk him into one for his sick mother! Like all of a sudden condos are the answers to everyone’s problems.”
Dennis laughed, unfazed by the edge in her voice. “But it’d