A Hole in the Universe - Mary McGarry Morris [42]
“You have an appointment with a real estate agent?” He hadn’t said date, but then, under the circumstances, would he?
“To see some condos. She had new ones she wants to show me.”
“Condos? You’re going to sell the house?”
“No! No, I like it there. It’s Dennis. It’s like a favor for him. I mean, he wants me to move, but I’m not. The favor, I guess, is to give Jilly Cross some business.” He smiled.
“Well, if you’re not going to buy anything, it sounds more to me like you’re just, you know, wasting her time. Stringing her along.” Wasting his own time, she thought, irritated by Dennis’s influence. He hadn’t even wanted his brother back here.
“I know, but I told her.” Gordon followed her into the kitchen with his soiled plate. He dropped his knife and fork into the sink with an unnerving clatter. “She knows I don’t want to move.” He put a strawberry into his mouth. “I don’t know, maybe she thinks she’s going to change my mind or something.” He grinned and a thin red trickle ran down his chin. He wiped it away with his cuff.
In her rush she cut herself, so now she was trying to slice the strawberries with a paper napkin wrapped around her thumb. Bits of tissue kept sticking to the fruit. She tore it off, only vaguely concerned that her blood might be mixing with these raggedly sliced berries. She carried his bowl to the table. A dull ache had started at the base of her skull. Her period. What a waste that was. The monthly reminder of emptiness. The soon-to-be-ebbing tide of . . . of possibility, she thought, standing over him now with the chilled can, shaking and shaking and shaking it, then giving a long, vicious spurt of curled cream onto the strawberries he shouldn’t have brought here without asking, she thought as flecks of cream sputtered onto the tablecloth, angering her even more. Now, everything is ruined, and he doesn’t even know.
“Thank you,” he said, chewing. “Oh, this is so good.”
Suddenly, she was glad he was leaving. She would have the rest of the night to herself, to do whatever she wanted. She wasn’t a young woman anymore. This constant solicitude was draining, bewildering to never have it returned. She sat down, but he didn’t look up. She sucked at the tip of her finger and watched him tilt the bowl for the last spoonful of juice. It’s more than reserve. Or caution, even. No. He’s missing something. Something inside. Or maybe it’s me. Maybe there’s nothing in me for a man to love or hold on to.
“As it turned out, there’s only one we can see,” Jilly Cross said stiffly as they drove down the street. Her voice sounded different tonight, strained.
He was afraid he was annoying her with his struggle to get his seat belt buckled. Eight o’clock was too late for the people on State Line Road, which left only the Meadowville condo, she said, but that was vacant, so it would be better to go when he could see it by daylight.
“That’s all right. I can see it tonight,” he said quickly. He didn’t want to be taken home. He pressed the seat belt against his hip so it looked buckled. It was these small ineptitudes that made him feel most out of step with everyone else.
“There’s another one that just came in, but the woman has cats so she has to be there when it’s shown. Or something like that, I don’t know.” She seemed distracted.
“Why, do they bite or something?”
“No, they’re house cats. She’s afraid someone’ll leave a door open and they’ll get out.”
“How can they be house cats if they live in a condo? They must be condo cats,” he said with a broad grin. He wanted to make her laugh. He almost felt giddy as they drove toward the fast-rising moon, tangerine in the blue-black sky. The evening air was sweet.
“That’s right.” Her nose and cheeks were red, as if she’d gotten sunburned. Her lips were a soft coral, the same shade of the scarf knotted around her neck.
“I like cats,” he said. “We never had our own pet cat, but they were always around. My mother was always feeding stray ones. My father didn’t like them too much. He said all the milk bowls and cat food on the back steps used to attract