A Hole in the Universe - Mary McGarry Morris [57]
“All right! All right, I’m coming!” Babbie called away from the phone. She had to go. Dwayne was waiting. It was their line-dancing night at the Elks.
Maureen wasn’t home, and Linda had her daughter-in-law on the other line and would call her right back. Delores was on the phone with her oldest sister, Karen, now, chewing her inner cheek to shreds while she tried not to cry. “You had to know this was going to happen. There’s no loyalty with a boss like Smick. He’s a creep! He’s always been a creep.”
“No, he’s not. He’s a good man. And a good friend. A very good friend,” she added.
“So is your very good friend going to make you manager of the new store, then?”
“I would imagine.”
“Well, is he or isn’t he?”
“Yes. Of course. I’m sure he is. He’s just been so busy, he—”
“Delores! Don’t you get it? This is it! In a couple of weeks you’re out of a job!”
“No, I’m not!”
“You could make so much money somewhere else. I never understood why you stayed there. How many times did I tell you about openings at the post office? You would’ve been a supervisor by now. You would’ve had security plus a pension. You’re so smart: I don’t get it, Delores. What were you thinking all those years? That somehow there was going to be some future there? I mean, even Mom saw this coming. She’d say, ‘What’s she doing still living at home? Why isn’t she out on her own like the rest of you?’”
“I took care of Mom! She wanted me there. She needed me. Who else was going to do it?” Delores cried, though she was sure Karen was once again putting words into their dead mother’s mouth.
“What she wanted, Doe, was for you to have your own life like the rest of us.”
“I do. I have my own life. I always have. It may not meet your standards, but I’m very happy the way I am.” She felt better for saying that. She took a deep breath. “And if you can’t accept me for who I am, then that’s your problem.”
There was a pause. “Oh, my God.”
“What do you mean, ‘Oh, my God’?”
“You’re gay, aren’t you. You’re a lesbian, that’s it, that’s what you’re trying to tell me. I feel so stupid! I mean, here I am, a nurse, and it went right by me. All these years, my own sister, and I never even put it together. Of course! It was like you always wanted to tell me something: I always had that feeling. Now it all makes such sense.”
“It does?”
“You always had so many girlfriends! You never went out with guys.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Yeah, but they were always more like buddy things.”
“Buddy things?”
“You know, either they were seeing someone else or, God, probably even gay themselves, now that I think of it. Or like Gordon Loomis, right? Jail, now isn’t that the ultimate cover? But listen, Doe, it doesn’t matter. Really. You’re my sister and I love you just the way you are! No matter what you are!” Karen declared with the fervor of liberation, sisterhood, relief—something.
“I’m not gay, Karen.”
“It’s all right. I can handle it.”
“But I’m not!”
At nine the next morning, Delores sat in her idling car in the narrow lot behind Smick’s in Dearborn. She noted the brand-new wheeled trash receptacles. All the Collerton store had were old galvanized barrels she could barely drag when full. There were even two lawn chairs and a small plastic table for employees to use on warm days. Albert pulled into the space beside her.
“What are you doing here?” His shiny pate pinkened with her approach.
“I have to talk to you.”
“All right. Yes. Of course. We do, but does it have to be right now?” He glanced at his watch. “Shouldn’t you be opening now?”
She shrugged. “Why? What does it matter?” Her heavily made-up eyes burned in the morning light. She hadn’t slept all night but had taken pains to look her best, wearing a bright fuchsia pantsuit and parrot-green scarf.
“It’s not as if this comes as any big surprise, right?” he said in a low voice.
“Why did you have to bring someone with you? Do you know how I felt? We’ve always been able to talk.