A Lion's Tale_ Around the World in Spandex - Chris Jericho [113]
All of these guys were good for the company, but I’d be lying if I said their talent was the only reason I’d suggested them. There’s something to be said about traveling around the world with your best friends and living your dreams together. I’d spent enough time alone in Mexico and Germany so getting to hang with my bros in Japan made it almost like a paid vacation.
We always had a blast hanging in the small-town karaoke bars where you could rent a private room for just your party. We stocked up on a sweet Korean drink called Chu-Hi (think a wine cooler crossed with straight vodka) and rocked the hizz by singing whatever English songs were offered in the songbook. Sometimes there were only four or five of them and they’d be the most eclectic mix of songs like “What a Wonderful World,” “The Kid Is Hot Tonight,” “Heartbreak Hotel,” “Auld Lang Syne,” and “The Humpty Dance.”
So we sang the songs ten times each, then switched it up and did Louis Armstrong singing, “The Kid Is Hot Tonight” or Jackie Mason singing “The Humpty Dance.” The more Chu-Hi we drank, the funnier (and better) the songs got.
Of all the guys I helped bring over, Lenny and I had the best time because we lived in our own little world of private jokes and bullshit. Our favorite movie was This Is Spinal Tap and we called ourselves the Lovely Lads, which was the name of the Tap before they were famous. We always thought it would be a blast if the Lovely Lads got work in Japan and our dream came to fruition when we were booked as a tag team in Korakuen Hall. I’ve never been so proud as when I stood in the center of the ring and heard our ring introduction echo throughout the sold out venue, “Dr. Russer and Lion Ha-Toe, the Rovery Rads!”
That night we celebrated the debut and the subsequent breakup of the Lovely Lads (after we lost the match) in an area of Tokyo called Roppongi. Roppongi was jam-packed with bars and restaurants and was popular with all the foreigners in the city. Wrestlers, servicemen, actors, models, strippers, rock stars, botanists; you name it, they went there. When Lenny and I went to the Hard Rock Café for a cocktail, we saw Bono having a drink at the bar and I ain’t talking about Sonny. I’m talking about THE Bono himself.
We had long debated the selling out of U2 and were determined to tell Bono exactly how we felt. We discussed what form of venom we would spit and when we were ready I marched straight over to him and said, “My name’s Bono too.”
Actually, we chickened out and stood there like asses until Lenny spit out “Bono, you’re awesome.” Then we stared at him with goofy grins until his bodyguard shooed us away.
We got another chance to redeem ourselves when we went into the Gas Panic Club (best bar name ever) and saw Christopher Lloyd. We stared at him from afar until Lenny said, “He’s a movie star, so you know he’s rich. I’m going to go pickpocket him and see what I can get.”
Pickpocket him? Was he going to pull a caper next?
He came back moments later, all excited.
“I got something, I got something!”
He unfolded his hand and we stared at the hotel dry cleaning receipt he’d stolen. Then Lenny decided, “I’m going to go over to talk to him.” He wandered over and they struck up a conversation. I couldn’t hear what exactly they were saying, but if Lenny was getting along so well with Christopher Lloyd, then I could too. I sidled up and did my best Dr. Emmett Brown impersonation.
“88.8 jigowatts! What are we going to do, Marty?”
Instead of the raucous laughter I expected, he ignored me and continued talking to Lenny. Len didn’t introduce me either and I was dying a slow death.
“88.8 jigowatts! Marty get some plutonium!”
This time Christopher looked at me and said disgustedly, “First off, do you know how many people do that imitation for me every night? Second of all, its not 88.8 jigowatts, it’s 1.21. 88.8