A Little Book of Eternal Wisdom [4]
works which you think will gain for you more grace
and sanctity; for, although the inclination and desire of your heart for
Jesus should never change, nevertheless the spiritual works you practice,
such as prayer, reading, etc., in order to feed and strengthen this desire,
may well be changed, according as you feel your spiritual welfare will be
benefited by this change. Therefore, lest you hinder the freedom of your
heart to love Jesus, do not think that because you have accustomed yourself
to a certain form of devotion, that you cannot change it for the better.
Before you have journeyed far, you must expect enemies of all kinds,
who will surround you and busily endeavour to hinder you from going forward.
Indeed, if they can by any means, they will, wither by persuasions,
flatteries, or violence, force you to return to your former habits of
sinfulness. For there is nothing annoys them so much as to see a resolute
desire to love Jesus and to labour to find him. Consequently, they will
conspire to drive out of your heart that good desire and love in which all
virtues are comprised. The first enemies that will assault you will be the
desires of the flesh, and vain fears of your corrupt heart. Joined with
these will be unclean spirits, which, with sights and temptations, will seek
to entice you to them, and draw you from Jesus. But do not believe anything
they say, but betake yourself to your old and only secure remedy,
answering--"I am naught, I have naught, and I desire naught but only the
love of Jesus."
If they endeavour to put dreads and doubts into your mind, and try to
make you believe you have not done necessary penance to atone for your sins,
do not believe them. Neither believe them if they say you have not
sufficiently confessed your sins, and that you should return home to do
penance better, before you have the boldness to go to Jesus. You are
sufficiently acquitted of your sins, and there is no need at all that you
should delay in order to ransack your conscience, for this will now but harm
you, and either put you entirely out of your way, or at least unprofitably
delay your toil.
If they tell you that you are not worthy to have the love of Jesus, or
to see Jesus, and that on that account you ought not to be so presumptuous
as to desire and seek it, do not believe them, but go on, saying, "It is not
because I am worthy, but because I am unworthy, that I desire to have the
love of Jesus; for, once having that, I should become worthy. Therefore, I
will never cease desiring it until I have obtained it. I was created for
this love alone, and so, say and do what you will, I will desire it
continually, and never cease to pray for it, and thus endeavour to obtain
it."
If you meet with any who seem to be your friends, and who in kindness
would hinder your progress by entertaining you and seeking to draw you to
sensual mirth by vain discourses and carnal pleasures, whereby you will be
in danger of forgetting your pilgrimage, turn a deaf ear to them, answer
them not; think only of this, that you would fain be at Jerusalem. If they
offer you gifts and attractions, heed them not, but think ever of Jerusalem.
If men despise you, lay false charges against you, defraud and rob you,
or even beat and use you cruelly, for your life take no notice of them, but
meekly content yourself with the injury received, and proceed as if nothing
had happened to hinder you. This punishment, or even more, is as nothing if
you can only arrive at Jerusalem, where you shall be recompensed for all you
have endured.
If your enemies see that you grow courageous, and that you will neither
be seduced by flatteries nor disheartened by the pains and trials of your
journey, but rather are contented with them, they will then be afraid of
you. Notwithstanding all this, they will still pursue you on your way and
seek every advantage against you, now and then endeavouring, either by
flatteries or alarms, to stop and drive you back. Fear them not, but
continue on your way
and sanctity; for, although the inclination and desire of your heart for
Jesus should never change, nevertheless the spiritual works you practice,
such as prayer, reading, etc., in order to feed and strengthen this desire,
may well be changed, according as you feel your spiritual welfare will be
benefited by this change. Therefore, lest you hinder the freedom of your
heart to love Jesus, do not think that because you have accustomed yourself
to a certain form of devotion, that you cannot change it for the better.
Before you have journeyed far, you must expect enemies of all kinds,
who will surround you and busily endeavour to hinder you from going forward.
Indeed, if they can by any means, they will, wither by persuasions,
flatteries, or violence, force you to return to your former habits of
sinfulness. For there is nothing annoys them so much as to see a resolute
desire to love Jesus and to labour to find him. Consequently, they will
conspire to drive out of your heart that good desire and love in which all
virtues are comprised. The first enemies that will assault you will be the
desires of the flesh, and vain fears of your corrupt heart. Joined with
these will be unclean spirits, which, with sights and temptations, will seek
to entice you to them, and draw you from Jesus. But do not believe anything
they say, but betake yourself to your old and only secure remedy,
answering--"I am naught, I have naught, and I desire naught but only the
love of Jesus."
If they endeavour to put dreads and doubts into your mind, and try to
make you believe you have not done necessary penance to atone for your sins,
do not believe them. Neither believe them if they say you have not
sufficiently confessed your sins, and that you should return home to do
penance better, before you have the boldness to go to Jesus. You are
sufficiently acquitted of your sins, and there is no need at all that you
should delay in order to ransack your conscience, for this will now but harm
you, and either put you entirely out of your way, or at least unprofitably
delay your toil.
If they tell you that you are not worthy to have the love of Jesus, or
to see Jesus, and that on that account you ought not to be so presumptuous
as to desire and seek it, do not believe them, but go on, saying, "It is not
because I am worthy, but because I am unworthy, that I desire to have the
love of Jesus; for, once having that, I should become worthy. Therefore, I
will never cease desiring it until I have obtained it. I was created for
this love alone, and so, say and do what you will, I will desire it
continually, and never cease to pray for it, and thus endeavour to obtain
it."
If you meet with any who seem to be your friends, and who in kindness
would hinder your progress by entertaining you and seeking to draw you to
sensual mirth by vain discourses and carnal pleasures, whereby you will be
in danger of forgetting your pilgrimage, turn a deaf ear to them, answer
them not; think only of this, that you would fain be at Jerusalem. If they
offer you gifts and attractions, heed them not, but think ever of Jerusalem.
If men despise you, lay false charges against you, defraud and rob you,
or even beat and use you cruelly, for your life take no notice of them, but
meekly content yourself with the injury received, and proceed as if nothing
had happened to hinder you. This punishment, or even more, is as nothing if
you can only arrive at Jerusalem, where you shall be recompensed for all you
have endured.
If your enemies see that you grow courageous, and that you will neither
be seduced by flatteries nor disheartened by the pains and trials of your
journey, but rather are contented with them, they will then be afraid of
you. Notwithstanding all this, they will still pursue you on your way and
seek every advantage against you, now and then endeavouring, either by
flatteries or alarms, to stop and drive you back. Fear them not, but
continue on your way