A Little Book of Eternal Wisdom [54]
the sake of Thy praise. Lord, I yield
myself up this day to Thy grace and mercy; nay, if I were to be accused of
the foulest murder that ever any man committed, so that whoever say me
should spit in my face, Lord, I would willingly bear it in praise of Thee,
provided I only stood guiltless in Thy sight. But even if I were guilty, I
would still endure it in praise of Thy blessed justice, which is a thousand
times more precious to me than my own honour. For every term of reproach
cast at me I would give Thee a particular praise, and with the good thief
would say to Thee: Lord, I receive the due reward of my deeds, but what hast
Thou done amiss? Lord, remember me, when Thou comest into Thy Kingdom! And
should it be Thy will to take me now from hence, if it were for Thy praise,
I would not look about me for a respite, but I would desire to be taken
hence; and I would desire that, if it should have been my lot to have become
as old even as Mathusaia, every year of the long period, and every week of
the years, and every day of the weeks, and every hour of the days, and every
minute of the hours, might praise Thee for me in such rapturous praise as
never did any saint in the veritable bright reflection of the saints, and
this as many times as the grains of dust are countless in the sunshine, and
that they might fulfill this my good desire, as though I myself had all the
time lived to fulfill it. Therefore, Lord, take me early or late to Thyself,
for such is my heart's desire. Lord, I will say still more, that, if I had
now to depart hence, and it were to Thy praise that I should burn fifty
years in purgatory, I am ready to incline myself at Thy feet, and gladly
accept it all to Thy eternal praise; blessed be the fire of purgatory in
which Thy praise is fulfilled in me! Lord, Thou, and not myself, art what I
here love and here seek. Lord, Thou comprehendest all things, Thou knowest
all hearts, Thou knowest that these are my unshaken sentiments; nay, if I
knew that I should have to lie for ever at the bottom of hell, however it
might afflict my heart to be robbed of Thy ravishing vision, I yet would not
cease from Thy praise; and could I retrieve the lost time of all men, reform
their misdeeds, and by means of praise and honour, make full amends for all
the dishonour that ever was shown Thee, I would willingly do it; and if it
were indeed possible, then, from the lowest abyss of hell must needs burst
forth from me a beautiful song of praise which would penetrate hell, the
earth, air, and all the heavens, till it arrived before Thy divine
countenance. But, if this were not possible, I would yet wish to praise Thee
here all the more, that I might even here rejoice in Thee all the more.
Lord, do with Thy poor creature what is for Thy praise; for let what will
happen to me, so long as there is any breath in my mouth I will utter Thy
praise; and when I lose my utterance, I desire that the raising of my finger
may be a confirmation and conclusion of all the praise I ever spoke; nay,
when my body falls to dust, I desire that, from every grain of dust, an
infinite praise may pierce through the hard stones, through all the heavens
up to Thy divine presence, till the last day, when body and soul shall again
unite in Thy praise.
Eternal Wisdom.--In this desire and good intention thou shouldst remain
till death--such praise is pleasing to Me.
The Servant.--Ah, sweet Lord, since Thou deignest and desirest to
receive praise from me, poor sinful person that I am, it is my desire that
Thou wouldst show me three things, namely, how, wherewith, and at what time
I ought to praise Thee. Tell me, dearest Lord, is the external praise which
is given by words and singing, any way profitable?
Eternal Wisdom.--It is certainly profitable, and especially as it stirs
up the interior man, which it very often stirs up, above all in the case of
newly converted persons.
The Servant.--Lord, I also am filled with the desire (seeing that one
should be glad to begin in time, what one will have
myself up this day to Thy grace and mercy; nay, if I were to be accused of
the foulest murder that ever any man committed, so that whoever say me
should spit in my face, Lord, I would willingly bear it in praise of Thee,
provided I only stood guiltless in Thy sight. But even if I were guilty, I
would still endure it in praise of Thy blessed justice, which is a thousand
times more precious to me than my own honour. For every term of reproach
cast at me I would give Thee a particular praise, and with the good thief
would say to Thee: Lord, I receive the due reward of my deeds, but what hast
Thou done amiss? Lord, remember me, when Thou comest into Thy Kingdom! And
should it be Thy will to take me now from hence, if it were for Thy praise,
I would not look about me for a respite, but I would desire to be taken
hence; and I would desire that, if it should have been my lot to have become
as old even as Mathusaia, every year of the long period, and every week of
the years, and every day of the weeks, and every hour of the days, and every
minute of the hours, might praise Thee for me in such rapturous praise as
never did any saint in the veritable bright reflection of the saints, and
this as many times as the grains of dust are countless in the sunshine, and
that they might fulfill this my good desire, as though I myself had all the
time lived to fulfill it. Therefore, Lord, take me early or late to Thyself,
for such is my heart's desire. Lord, I will say still more, that, if I had
now to depart hence, and it were to Thy praise that I should burn fifty
years in purgatory, I am ready to incline myself at Thy feet, and gladly
accept it all to Thy eternal praise; blessed be the fire of purgatory in
which Thy praise is fulfilled in me! Lord, Thou, and not myself, art what I
here love and here seek. Lord, Thou comprehendest all things, Thou knowest
all hearts, Thou knowest that these are my unshaken sentiments; nay, if I
knew that I should have to lie for ever at the bottom of hell, however it
might afflict my heart to be robbed of Thy ravishing vision, I yet would not
cease from Thy praise; and could I retrieve the lost time of all men, reform
their misdeeds, and by means of praise and honour, make full amends for all
the dishonour that ever was shown Thee, I would willingly do it; and if it
were indeed possible, then, from the lowest abyss of hell must needs burst
forth from me a beautiful song of praise which would penetrate hell, the
earth, air, and all the heavens, till it arrived before Thy divine
countenance. But, if this were not possible, I would yet wish to praise Thee
here all the more, that I might even here rejoice in Thee all the more.
Lord, do with Thy poor creature what is for Thy praise; for let what will
happen to me, so long as there is any breath in my mouth I will utter Thy
praise; and when I lose my utterance, I desire that the raising of my finger
may be a confirmation and conclusion of all the praise I ever spoke; nay,
when my body falls to dust, I desire that, from every grain of dust, an
infinite praise may pierce through the hard stones, through all the heavens
up to Thy divine presence, till the last day, when body and soul shall again
unite in Thy praise.
Eternal Wisdom.--In this desire and good intention thou shouldst remain
till death--such praise is pleasing to Me.
The Servant.--Ah, sweet Lord, since Thou deignest and desirest to
receive praise from me, poor sinful person that I am, it is my desire that
Thou wouldst show me three things, namely, how, wherewith, and at what time
I ought to praise Thee. Tell me, dearest Lord, is the external praise which
is given by words and singing, any way profitable?
Eternal Wisdom.--It is certainly profitable, and especially as it stirs
up the interior man, which it very often stirs up, above all in the case of
newly converted persons.
The Servant.--Lord, I also am filled with the desire (seeing that one
should be glad to begin in time, what one will have