A Little Dare - Brenda Jackson [20]
Shelly smiled knowing of her son’s fixation with airplanes and spaceships. “No.” She inhaled deeply. “I think it’s time we had a talk about your father. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since moving back and I need you to help me make a decision about something.”
AJ lifted a brow. “A decision about what?”
“About whether to tell your father about you.”
Surprised widened AJ’s eyes. “You know where he is?”
Shelly shook her head. “AJ, I’ve always known where he is. I’ve always told you that. And I’ve always told you if you ever wanted me to contact him to just say the word.”
Uncertainty narrowed his eyes, then he glanced down as if to study his sneakers. “Yeah, but I wasn’t sure if you really meant it or not,” he said quietly.
Shelly smiled weakly and reached out and gently gripped his chin to bring his gaze back to hers. “Is that why you stopped asking me about him? You thought I was lying to you about him?”
He shrugged. “I just figured you were saying what you wanted me to believe. Nick Banner’s mom did that to him. She told him that his dad had died in a car accident when he was a baby, then one day he heard his grandpa tell somebody that his dad was alive and had another family someplace and that he didn’t want Nick.”
Shelly’s breath caught in her throat. She felt an urgent need to take her son into her arms and assure him that unlike Nick’s father, his father did want him. But she knew he was now at an age where mothers’ hugs were no longer cool. Her heart felt heavy knowing that AJ had denied himself knowledge of his father in an attempt to save her from what he thought was embarrassment.
“Come on, let’s sit at the table. I think it’s time for us to have a long talk.”
AJ hung his head thoughtfully then glanced back at her. His eyes were wary. “About him?”
“Yes about him. There are things I think you need to know, so come on.”
He followed her over to the table and they sat down. Her gaze was steady as she met his. “Now then, just to set the record straight, everything I’ve ever told you about your father was true. He was someone I dated through high school and college while I lived here in College Park. Everyone in town thought we would marry, and I guess that had been my thought too, but your father had a dream.”
“A dream?”
“Yes, a dream of one day becoming an FBI agent. You have your dream to grow up and become an astronaut one day don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Well, your father had a similar dream, but his was one day to become an FBI agent, and I knew if I had told him that I was pregnant with you, he would have turned his back on his dream for us. I didn’t want him to do that. I loved him too much. So, without telling him I was pregnant with you, I left town. So he never knew about you, AJ.”
Shelly sighed. Everything she’d just told AJ was basically true. However, this next part would be a lie; a lie Dare was convinced AJ needed to believe. “Your father still doesn’t know about you, and this is where I need your help.”
AJ looked confused. “My help about what?”
“About what I should do.” When his confusion didn’t clear she said, “Since we moved back, I found out your father is still living here in College Park.”
She could tell AJ was momentarily taken aback by what she’d said. He stared at her with wide, expressive eyes. “He’s here? In this town?” he asked in a somewhat shaky yet excited voice.
“Yes. It seems that he moved back a few years ago after he stopped working for the FBI in Washington, D.C.” Shelly leaned back in her chair. “I want to be fair to the both of you. You’re getting older and so is he. I think it’s time that I finally tell him about you, just like I’m telling you about him.”
AJ nodded and looked her and she saw uncertainty in his eyes. “But what if he doesn’t want me?”
Shelly smiled and then chuckled. “Trust me, when he finds out about you he will definitely want you. In fact I’m a little concerned about what his reaction will be when he realizes that I’ve kept your existence from him. He is a man who strongly believes in family and he won’t be a happy camper.”
“Had he known about