A Man Could Stand Up - Ford Madox Ford [51]
McKechnie plunged at once into the story of the sonnet. The Lance-Corporal had, of course, a large number of papers for Tietjens to sign. An untidy, buff and white sheaf, so McKechnie had time to talk. He wished to establish himself as on a level with the temporary C.O. At least intellectually.
He didn't. Aranjuez kept on exclaiming:
'The Major wrote a sonnet in two and a half minutes! The Major! Who would have thought it!' Ingenuous boy!
Tietjens looked at the papers with some attention. He had been so kept out of contact with the affairs of the battalion, that he wanted to know. As he had suspected, the paper business of the unit was in a shocking state. Brigade, Division, even Army and, positively, Whitehall were strafing for information about everything imaginable from jam, toothbrushes and braces, to religions, vaccination and barrack damages...This was interesting matter. A relief to contemplate...You would almost think all-wise Authority snowed under and broke the backs of Commanding Officers with papers in order to relieve their minds of affording alternative interests...alternative to the exigencies of active hostilities! It was certainly a relief whilst waiting for a strafe to come to the right stage--to have to read a violent enquiry about P.R.I. funds, whilst the battalion had been resting near a place called Béhencourt...
It appeared that Tietjens might well be thankful that he had not been allowed to handle the P.R.I. funds.
The second-in-command is the titular administrator of the Regimental Institute: he is the president, supposed to attend to the men's billiard tables, almanacks, backgammon boards, football boots...But the C.O. had preferred to keep these books in his own hands. Tietjens regarded that as a slight. Perhaps it had not been.
It went quickly through his head that the C.O. perhaps had financial difficulties--though that was no real affair of his...The Horse Guards was pressingly interested in the pre-enlistment affairs of a private called 64 Smith. They asked violently and for the third time for particulars of his religion, previous address and real name...That was no doubt the espionage at work...But Whitehall was also more interested in answers to queries about the disposal of regimental funds of a training camp in January, 1915...As long ago as that! The mills of God grind slowly...That query was covered by a private note from the Brigadier saying that he wished for goodness' sake the C.O. would answer these queries or there would have to be a Court of Enquiry.
These particular two papers ought not to have been brought to Tietjens. He held them between the thumb and forefinger of his left hand and the query upon 64 Smith S--which seemed rather urgent--between the first and second, and so handed them to Lance-Corporal Duckett. That nice, clean, fair boy was, at the moment, talking in intimate undertones to Second-Lieutenant Aranjuez about the resemblances between the Petrarchan and the Shakespearean sonnet form...
This was what His Majesty's Expeditionary Force had come to. You had four of its warriors, four minutes before the zero of a complete advance of the whole German line, all interested in sonnets...Drake and his game of bowls--in fact repeated itself!...Differently, of course! But times change.
He handed the two selected papers to Duckett.
'Give this one to the Commanding Officer,' he said, 'and tell the Sergeant-Major to find what Company 64 Smith is in and have him brought to me, wherever I am...I'm going right along the trenches now. Come after me when you've been to the C.O. and the Sergeant-Major. Aranjuez will make notes of what I want done about revetting, you can put down anything about the personnel of the companies...Get a move on!'
He told McKechnie amiably to be out of those lines forthwith. He didn't want him killed on his hands. The sun was now shining into