A Million Little Pieces - James Frey [103]
I turn around. I walk out of the Bathroom. Miles is still sleeping I try to be quiet. I get dressed and I walk out of my Room the Hall is still asleep. I walk into the Upper Level of the Unit and I make the coffee. I wait for it to brew. When it is ready, I pour myself a tall cup steaming hot and black. I sit at a table and I light a cigarette. I am alone. I sit and I drink and I smoke. I don’t think about what I’m doing or why I’m doing it. I just sit there alone. I drink and I smoke.
One of the sliding glass doors opens. I look down and I see Leonard walking into the Lower Level of the Unit. He is wearing a jogging outfit and his face is red it is dripping with sweat. He looks as if he is in better shape then when I met him. He’s thin, his jawline is visible, his cheeks are flush. He looks like a healthy suburban Father coming home from a jog. He sees me, walks toward me.
What’s up, Leonard?
Out for a run.
How was it?
It sucked.
He gets a cup of coffee, sits down at the table.
You got one of those for me?
I didn’t think you smoked.
I just did something good to my body. Now I want to do something bad to it.
I laugh, hand him a smoke, light it. He takes a deep drag, looks at me.
I hear you’re seeing that Girl with the black hair.
What Girl?
The Crackhead.
Where’d you hear that?
I never betray a Source.
We’re friends, but that’s not going to stop me from beating your ass if you don’t tell me who told you that.
He laughs.
Ted told me.
How would he know?
He sneaks out every night and meets some Girl in the Woods. I guess that Girl is on the same Unit as your Girl, and if you didn’t know by now, Girls talk about that shit.
There’s not much to talk about.
Not much means there’s something.
I’ve met her out there a couple times. We talk. It’s no big deal.
You like her?
Yeah.
She good to you?
There’s no good or bad, we just talk.
You look different right now. That’s a good sign.
I smile.
You’re making a big deal out of nothing, Leonard.
I’m only interested in your happiness, Kid. If you’re happy, I’m happy.
I’m not happy, but I’m not unhappy.
You’ll be happy soon. Just hold on.
We’ll see.
He holds up the cigarette, looks at it.
These things are fucking disgusting.
I laugh.
They’re all I got left.
He stubs it out, stands.
I’m gonna take a shower. Wait for me and we’ll go to breakfast.
He leaves. I sit and I wait and I smoke cigarettes and I drink coffee. I watch men begin to filter in and out of the Unit. Some are doing their morning Jobs, some are getting coffee, some are buying candy or cans of soda from the machines. I don’t talk to any of them. I just sit and I stare out a window. I don’t know what’s outside the window and I don’t particularly care, it is but a point on which to focus my eyes while I drink and I smoke. I drink and I smoke.
Leonard comes back into the Upper Level. He is clean and his hair is wet. He says I’m hungry let’s eat and I stand and we walk to the Dining Hall. I get in line and I get a plate of eggs and bacon and he gets a plate of pancakes and we find a table. We are joined by our friends. As we eat, we talk about the upcoming Heavyweight Championship. Matty knows the fighters and he speaks of the fight with great enthusiasm, stopping and swearing at himself for swearing, jabbing and moving as if he is in the Ring. We sit and laugh and after a few moments, everyone except Matty stops talking. He talks enough for all of us.
After a breakfast another Lecture. We play cards in the back row.
After Lecture, Joanne is waiting for me outside the Hall. She says I am with her this morning and we walk through the Halls toward her Office. The Halls are bright and I do not