A Million Little Pieces - James Frey [15]
We need to do some X rays, but from what I can see with my eyes, we’re going to have to do some surgery.
I squeeze my fists. Squeeze tight.
The outer two teeth are broken, but the roots seem to be intact.
My lips quiver.
We can cap those and you should be fine.
I can taste the blood.
The front two, though, are dying.
I run my tongue along my upper gum.
We’re going to need to do root canals and build a bridge.
I feel the remains of my teeth. Short sharp shards of teeth.
It won’t be pleasant, but unless you’re comfortable without teeth, it’s the only option.
I nod.
I’ll set up an appointment for you in a few days. The swelling in your lips should be gone by then and we can’t do this until it is.
I nod.
Nice to meet you, James.
Nice to meet you too.
He stands and we shake hands and he leaves. Another Nurse comes in and she washes out my mouth and she stuffs it with cotton wads and plates and she takes some X rays. When she’s finished the cotton wads are covered in blood and my mouth feels as if it’s been brushed with sandpaper and slammed with a hammer. She tells me I can go and she leaves and I stand and I walk back into the Lobby. Hank is sitting on one of the couches reading a magazine about the personal lives of Movie Stars and I walk over and I sit down next to him and he sets down the magazine and he looks at me.
How’d it go?
It was fine.
They gonna fix you up?
They say they are.
I’m gonna go find out when you gotta come back.
He stands and he walks to the Reception Area and he talks to the Receptionist and he comes back and we leave the Office and we get in the Van and start driving back to the Clinic. Hank tries to be friendly and talk to me but I tell him my mouth hurts so he leaves me alone. I stare out the window.
I think about her. I think about the first time I saw her. I was eighteen and at School and I was sitting by myself under the orange and yellow of a fading October tree. I had a book in my hand and I was reading and for some reason I looked up. She was walking alone across the lawn of the School with an armful of papers. She tripped and the papers fell to the ground and as she bent over to get them she looked around to see if anyone had noticed. She didn’t see me, but as she scrambled to pick up her papers, I saw her. She didn’t see me, but I saw her.
The Van pulls up to the Entrance to the Clinic and Hank and I get out of the Van and I walk over to Hank and I thank him for driving me and helping me. He tells me I look as if I could use a hug and I laugh at him and he ignores me and steps forward and puts his arm around me and hugs me. I warm at the simple pleasure of human contact and for the first time in a long time I actually feel good. It makes me uncomfortable so I pull away and I say good-bye and I thank him again and I walk back into the Clinic. The Receptionist tells me it’s lunchtime so I go to the Dining Hall and I get in line and I get a bowl of soup and a glass of water and I find an empty table and I sit down by myself and I do the best I can to force some food past the bloody wreckage of my mouth.
Hey, Kid.
I look up. A man stands across from me. He’s about fifty, medium height, medium build. He has thick brown hair that is thinning on top and a weathered face that looks as if it has taken a few punches. He’s wearing a bright blue-and-yellow silk Hawaiian shirt, small round silver glasses and a huge gold Rolex. He stares at me. He sets his tray down. He looks pissed.
Remember me?
No.
You been walking around the last two days calling me Gene Hackman. Now I know they got you doped up on that detox shit, but I’m not Gene Hackman, I’ve never been Gene Hackman, I’ll never be Gene Hackman, and if you call me Gene fucking Hackman again,