A Million Little Pieces - James Frey [181]
The larger man sits up, shakes his head, and at the count of nine, he stands. The Referee asks him if he’s okay and he says yes, though it is clear he is not, clear that he is barely conscious. The Referee motions for the men to start fighting again and they both warily step forward. Matty is screaming for the smaller man to hit him to knock him out one shot will do it just knock him out, but the smaller man can’t do it. It is as if his last punch, that last beautiful hook, took as much out of him as it took from his Opponent. For the rest of the round they paw each other, both too exhausted to throw real punches.
In between the rounds, Matty stands and he starts pacing. Leonard tells him to sit down but Matty can’t do it. He is shaking his head and kicking the floor, imploring the smaller fighter to come out and ruin the larger fighter. When the bell rings, he’s screaming come on, you Bastard, come on.
The round starts slowly, but about thirty seconds into it, as the fighters stand in the middle of the Ring, the larger man throws a straight right hand that connects on the smaller man’s nose. There is an explosion of blood as the nose breaks and the smaller man falls to his knees. From there he falls facedown on the canvas.
The Room erupts. Most of the men are yelling get up get up, a few are high-fiving each other and saying it’s over. At the count of eight the smaller fighter struggles to his feet and the Referee asks him if he’s all right and through the blood on his face and the blood in his mouth he says yes. The Referee steps aside and the larger man steps forward and drills another perfect right hand into the smaller man’s nose. The smaller man falls backward, through the ropes, and onto the Ring apron. His eyes are closed and he is not moving. The fight is over.
Men cheer yell swear throw empty soda cans at the television get up and walk away. Amid all of the noise, I hear one thing above everything else. It is Matty screaming fuck fuck fuck fuck. He is staring at the television in utter disbelief, just staring and screaming fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Leonard stands and he puts his arm around him and he says it’s just a fight, it’s not a big deal and Matty stops screaming and he says I know, but when the guy I want to win doesn’t fucking win, it breaks my fucking heart. Leonard says he knows the feeling and he gives Matty a hug. They separate and Matty says fuck at the television one more time and Leonard starts walking around the Room settling his various bets. He had most of his money on the larger man, but in a gesture of goodwill he waives all the bets that he has won, and he pays on all of the bets that he has lost.
I stay up late talking with Matty and Ted and Leonard and other men who come and go. We talk about the fight and we let Matty do most of the talking. Any pretense of him not swearing is gone gone gone. We eat apple pie and ice cream, we smoke cigarettes and drink coffee. We watch the highlights of the fight on the News and we relive the experience of watching it again and again. No one goes to sleep. The Unit is crowded at two o’clock in the morning. Tomorrow we go back to reality. Everyone stays awake because no one wants the night to end.
At about four in the morning, I get off the couch and I walk to my Room. I open the door it is dark and quiet Miles is asleep. I climb into my bed and I put my head down and I think of Lilly. I think of her sleeping in the Medical Unit and I think about how close she is to me and I think about how far away she is from me how far away. She is in the Medical Unit and it is close, but a World away. I miss her. I miss her.
Tonight was one of the best nights of my life. Food and friends and a fight. Things I love with people I love. It was almost perfect.
Almost.
I miss Lilly.
I miss Lilly.
I miss Lilly.
Chapter 18
I wake. I don’t remember