A Million Little Pieces - James Frey [80]
Most people knock before entering a Room.
He has a deep, slow southern accent.
I didn’t know anyone was here.
I walk to the empty bed.
You could have knocked anyway.
I sit down.
Sorry.
I start putting my stuff away.
Are you living here?
Yeah.
What’s your name?
James.
Hello James, my name’s Miles.
Like Miles Davis?
Exactly like Miles Davis.
Exactly?
Yes.
Your name is Miles Davis?
Yes, it is.
I laugh.
You play the trumpet?
No, I play the clarinet.
He motions toward a black case sitting at the foot of his bed.
I played the trumpet when I was younger, but when the other Miles got famous, I quit. It was a bit too much.
Where you from?
New Orleans. Where are you from?
I live in North Carolina.
Which part?
Wilmington.
Do you like Wilmington?
It’s nice, but I don’t really give a shit.
He laughs.
What do you do down in New Orleans?
I’m a Judge.
What do you Judge?
I’m a Judge in the Federal Circuit Court of Appeals.
That’s heavy.
He shrugs.
It is what it is.
You put people away?
I did when I worked in the Criminal Court, but I don’t anymore.
What was that like?
It’s hard putting away a man. There’s nothing good waiting for him in Jail, even if he does deserve it.
I nod.
What do you do?
I get in trouble.
He laughs.
What kind of trouble?
All kinds.
You in trouble now?
Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.
He laughs again.
Are you in any other trouble?
Can I plead the Fifth?
If you would like.
I would.
He looks at his watch.
Have you eaten supper yet?
No.
Would you like to eat with me?
I stand.
Let’s go.
He stands and we leave the Room. We walk through the Halls to the Cafeteria and we get in line and we get some food. When we sit down at a table, I find out that Miles is an Alcoholic and that he’s married and he has two Children and he arrived here this afternoon. He speaks quietly and methodically and he chooses his words carefully and he says as much with his hands and his eyes and the motions of his head as he does with words themselves. When I speak, he listens carefully, softly interjecting with a nod or a chuckle or quiet word of validation. He is immediately a friend, which is strange to me. I have always hated Cops and Judges, or Authority Figures of any kind, and the last place I would have ever thought I would befriend one would be in a Treatment Center.
After a few minutes, we are joined by Leonard and Matty and Ed and Ted. It is a typical meal with them. They laugh, make fun of one another, tell stories about their pasts, talk shit about the Clinic’s other Patients. Aside from Miles, there are four new men on our Unit, and Leonard and Matty and Ed and Ted size them up, talk about which ones they like and which ones they don’t like, and make plans to fuck with them. There is one, a short fat man named Bobby, whom they seem to harbor a particular dislike for, though I don’t know why. I do know that I’m glad I’m not him.
We finish eating and we walk as a group to the Lecture. We sit as a group in the seats. I sit on the aisle and I watch for Lilly. When she walks in my heart jumps and my hands shake and me myself inside settles it settles and those things for which there are no words ignite and they start firing firing firing. I knew I would be affected when I saw her, but I didn’t know this and I don’t know this and I’m surprised and the surprise makes me nervous and I’m usually not nervous. Usually I’m just pissed. I’m not pissed right now. They have ignited and they are firing.
A man walks out onstage and everyone starts clapping. I recognize the man as a famous