A Million Little Pieces - James Frey [89]
He shakes his head, stares across the Lake.
Nothing was ever the same. Michelangelo lost interest in our business and turned it over to me. I didn’t see him much after that. I think we just reminded each other of what we had lost. Those were shitty depressing years. We both started drinking more and doing too much cocaine, but Michelangelo completely lost it.
A day came when I needed to see him, talk to him about something, so I went over to his house. I hadn’t been there in months, and when I walked in, I was sick to my stomach. There were mirrors full of coke on tables, bottles and cans everywhere, garbage piles in every room, and blonde Girls with big fake tits sleeping on the couches and lounging by the Pool. I went up to his Room and he was sitting there with a couple of young Girls and a bunch of drugs. I told the Girls to get out and I walked him out to the Pool. I sat him down and looked him in the eye and I said Mikey, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself. You should be ashamed of how you’re living and ashamed that you’re desecrating the memory of your Wife. Geena would have wanted better for you, and if she’s up in Heaven watching you, she’s probably crying her eyes out.
He didn’t say a word to me. He just turned around and walked out of the House. I didn’t know where he went, didn’t hear from him at all, so I started mourning him. My mourning was just like his. I drank too much, did too much coke and did a lot of stupid bullshit.
About a year later, I’m asleep in my bed and I hear someone in my house. I always keep a gun under my pillow, so I reached for it and started walking around. I heard someone in my kitchen and I walked in and there was Michelangelo, fifty pounds lighter, looking better and healthier than I’d ever seen him. He looked at me and he asked why the fridge was so goddamn empty.
I gave him a hug and I asked him where he’d been and he told me he was here, at this Clinic, where you and I are right now. He told me that when he had left his House the day I sat him down, he had planned on driving into the Desert and blowing his brains out, but once he got there, he couldn’t do it. He decided that if he was going to die, he wanted to die how he’d lived most of his life, which was with dignity and honor. He had heard about this place and decided he was going to come here. He bought a map and drove up here from Vegas and stayed until he felt he was better. Then he got in his car and he drove around for a few months, saw the White House and Key West and Bourbon Street and Alaska. He saw everything he had always wanted to see but never had.
He had come Home to tell me that he was going to retire and that he wanted me to come here. He said this place changed his life. He said getting sober had been the hardest thing he’d ever done, but next to getting married and spending his life with Geena, it was best thing he’d ever done. He wanted me to do it, he said he wouldn’t ever leave or die until I did.
We spent the rest of the day playing golf and talking about this place. He said when he first got here, he thought he had made a big mistake. He thought about leaving, but didn’t. A few days later he felt better and he knew something was working. A month after that he knew he was going to be okay. There were still bad times and rough times and times when he didn’t think he was gonna make it, but when they came, he just held on. He held on tight and with everything he had until the good started coming back. When he was finally ready to go, he said he knew he wasn’t ever going to drink or use again, he said he walked out of here happy and proud.
For the next few days we talked more about the effect that this place had on him, and we talked more about me coming here. About a week after that, he came by my house and picked me up and told me he was taking me out to eat