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By Root 1500 0

it”? I’ve found a simple way: to say as little as possible and only share more if people ask. So a friend asks, “How are you doing?” and you say, “Not so well. I’m really struggling with some questions about my faith, and it’s kind of disturbing.” Or you say, “I’m really enthusiastic about some new questions I’ve been grappling with. They’re opening up some new ways of being a follower of Christ for me.” If the friend expresses interest in understanding what you’re talking about, you might say, “Well, now might not be the best time, but if you’re still interested in a week or so, ask me again. Okay?” The idea is to be the opposite of pushy and the opposite of unhelpful at the same time.3 And if the friend shows initial interest but then gets nervous, just let the person off the hook: “You know, this really is something I need to grapple with, but it sounds like it’s not necessary or helpful for you right now, so we don’t need to go into it. Let’s talk about something else.” At most, you might recommend a book that could give your friend safe space to explore and think in private.

As important as books can be, though, those of us who have been on this quest for a while generally agree that you can read only so many books. It’s been said that the first followers of Jesus didn’t think themselves into a new way of living; they lived their way into a new way of thinking. Similarly, new ideas and understandings are worth little until they’re translated into the ways we pray, worship, and enjoy life in the Spirit and into the ways we interact with others—with our families and friends, with people of other classes, races, and religions, and so on. New perspectives must also be interpreted, translated, and incarnated into our work, our economics, our politics, our recreation, and even our church lives. In this way, our quest will be translated into action that counts, and that translation process is a communal activity, not a solo sport.

But ironically, that’s where the most difficulties often arise. Everywhere I speak on the emergence of a new kind of Christianity, I hear about these difficulties during Q & R sessions.

1. What should I do if my pastor or priest isn’t interested in or open to any kind of quest for a new kind of Christianity? I usually encourage people not to bother their spiritual leaders who are not interested. Just try to be a good member of the church. Serve with a positive attitude, learning and giving all you can for as long as you can. Don’t force this quest on anyone, and don’t hide it under a bushel either. Emphasize points of agreement. Stay on common ground as much as possible, and learn to love and accept people with whom you disagree; after all, that’s when you get to practice a new kind of Christianity. Outside of your church you can find a local or online cohort for mutual support and encouragement, but inside your church just be as much of a joyful presence as possible. A wise older friend once told me, “Don’t ever reject anybody. But if they reject you, be gracious and don’t stay where you’re not wanted. That’s rude, and love isn’t rude.” I’ve found that to be wise counsel.

2. What if my thinking and values have changed so much that I’m no longer in basic agreement with the church’s doctrinal statements or core ethos? Is it dishonest to stay under those circumstances? If you have a crisis of conscience, then I think it’s best to go to your pastor or priest and say something like this: “I’ve been doing a lot of rethinking about my faith recently, and I realized I’m changing in some ways. I don’t want to be a problem in any way to you or to the church, so I figured I’d share some of what’s going on, and we can decide the best way forward. If you think it’s best for me to find a different church, I’ll be glad to leave without causing a problem, and if we can find a mutually satisfying way for me to stay, that would be even better.” This kind of approach relieves the pastor of having to either fix you or reject you, and it saves you from causing damage to a precious group of people by leaving angry