A New Kind of Christianity - Brian McLaren [93]
Meanwhile, a number of factors are bringing the average age of puberty lower and lower, leaving more years than ever during which sexually mature people are likely to be single and therefore likely to engage in sex outside of marriage.
The Internet has made pornography ubiquitous, the advertising industry continuously exploits on-screen sex to sell everything from hamburgers to lawn mowers, and the entertainment industry uses sex to sell movies, books, TV shows, magazines, and related products and services. As a result, sexual stimulation has become increasingly virtualized and universalized.
The print, on-screen, and online ubiquity of “perfect” bodies in “virtual reality”—partially or fully exposed, often cosmetically and digitally enhanced—can create images of sexual perfection compared to which nearly all actual partners will disappoint, thus increasing sexual tension in actual relationships.
The combination of poverty, unemployment, and life in refugee camps or slums puts millions of people together with literally nothing to do, day after day, increasing the likelihood of casual sexual contact among people without the resources to raise the children they conceive.
When I consider these and the many other factors that are working against sexual sanity and health, I’m amazed that we’re doing as well as we are. Which brings me back to the subject of homosexuality. By coming out of the closet regarding their homosexuality, gay folks may help the rest of us come out of the closet regarding our sexuality.17 And that is important, because the longer we hide from the truth of our sexuality—in all of its beauty and agony, in all of its passion and pain, in all of its simplicity and complexity—the sicker we will be, as religious communities, as cultures, and as a global society.
As in so many areas, we must blaze a new trail into that terra nova beyond the binary and reactionary ideals of sexually repressive fundasexuality, on the one hand, and sexually unrestrained hedonism, on the other.18 We must pursue a practical, down-to-earth theology and an honest, fully embodied spirituality that speak truthfully and openly about our sexuality, in all its straight and gay complexity.
Catholics need this quest, as they come to terms with the problems of an unmarried and all-male clergy and of a lingering historical ambivalence in some quarters about sex in general.19 Evangelicals need this quest, as they come to terms with the gap between their ideals and pledges and their actual performance—not just in their young people, but in their middle-aged pastors and celebrities who keep slipping into scandals made all the more delicious by their claims to represent morality. Mainline Protestants need this quest, as they face the negligible difference between the sexual behavior of their young people and those outside the church. Parents and Christian educators need it, so they won’t damage their children’s full human development as they try to steer them away from damaging sexual behaviors. Single adults need it, so they won’t be tempted to lead double lives. Everyone needs it, as rates of divorce, births to single mothers, and STD infection remain high, leaving great human suffering in their wake.
Perhaps our anxiety about this needed quest provides one more reason we’re focusing so much displaced energy on gay folks and on our disagreements about how to treat them. It’s a lot easier to make them the problem than to face the deeper issues we all face as sexual-spiritual creatures, women and men, straight and gay, married and single, celibate and sexually active. A new kind of Christianity must move beyond this impasse and begin to construct not just a more humane sexual ethic in particular, but a more honest and robust Christian anthropology in general. To do that, some of us at least will need to start