A short history of nearly everything - Bill Bryson [154]
In 1998 the great and ancient Harvard zoologist Ernst Mayr (who then was in his ninety-fourth year and at the time of my writing is nearing one hundred and still going strong) stirred the pot further by declaring that there should be just two prime divisions of life—“empires” he called them. In a paper published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Mayr said that Woese's findings were interesting but ultimately misguided, noting that “Woese was not trained as a biologist and quite naturally does not have an extensive familiarity with the principles of classification,” which is perhaps as close as one distinguished scientist can come to saying of another that he doesn't know what he is talking about.
The specifics of Mayr's criticisms are too technical to need extensive airing here—they involve issues of meiotic sexuality, Hennigian cladification, and controversial interpretations of the genome of Methanobacterium thermoautrophicum, among rather a lot else—but essentially he argues that Woese's arrangement unbalances the tree of life. The bacterial realm, Mayr notes, consists of no more than a few thousand species while the archaean has a mere 175 named specimens, with perhaps a few thousand more to be found—“but hardly more than that.” By contrast, the eukaryotic realm—that is, the complicated organisms with nucleated cells, like us—numbers already in the millions. For the sake of “the principle of balance,” Mayr argues for combining the simple bacterial organisms in a single category, Prokaryota, while placing the more complex and “highly evolved” remainder in the empire Eukaryota, which would stand alongside as an equal. Put another way, he argues for keeping things much as they were before. This division between simple cells and complex cells “is where the great break is in the living world.”
The distinction between halophilic archaeans and methanosarcina or between flavobacteria and gram-positive bacteria clearly will never be a matter of moment for most of us, but it is worth remembering that each is as different from its neighbors as animals are from plants. If Woese's new arrangement teaches us anything it is that life really is various and that most of that variety is small, unicellular, and unfamiliar. It is a natural human impulse to think of evolution as a long chain of improvements, of a never-ending advance toward largeness and complexity—in a word, toward us. We flatter ourselves. Most of the real diversity in evolution has been small-scale. We large things are just flukes—an interesting side branch. Of the twenty-three main divisions of life, only three—plants, animals, and fungi—are large enough to be seen by the human eye, and even they contain species that are microscopic. Indeed, according to Woese, if you totaled up all the biomass of the planet—every living thing, plants included—microbes would account for at least 80 percent of all there is, perhaps more. The world belongs to the very small—and it has for a very long time.
So why, you are bound to ask at some point in your life, do microbes so often want to hurt us? What possible satisfaction could there be to a microbe in having us grow feverish or chilled, or disfigured with sores, or above all expire? A dead host, after all, is hardly going to provide long-term hospitality.
To begin with, it is worth remembering that most microorganisms are neutral or even beneficial to human well-being. The most rampantly infectious organism on Earth, a bacterium called Wolbachia, doesn't hurt humans at all—or, come to that, any other vertebrates—but if you are a shrimp or worm or fruit fly, it can make you wish you had never been born. Altogether, only about one microbe