A short history of nearly everything - Bill Bryson [176]
A few years later a charming old regular in the mollusks department—“quite a distinguished gentleman,” I was told—was caught inserting valued seashells into the hollow legs of his Zimmer frame.
“I don't suppose there's anything in here that somebody somewhere doesn't covet,” Richard Fortey said with a thoughtful air as he gave me a tour of the beguiling world that is the behind-the-scenes part of the museum. We wandered through a confusion of departments where people sat at large tables doing intent, investigative things with arthropods and palm fronds and boxes of yellowed bones. Everywhere there was an air of unhurried thoroughness, of people being engaged in a gigantic endeavor that could never be completed and mustn't be rushed. In 1967, I had read, the museum issued its report on the John Murray Expedition, an Indian Ocean survey, forty-four years after the expedition had concluded. This is a world where things move at their own pace, including a tiny lift Fortey and I shared with a scholarly looking elderly man with whom Fortey chatted genially and familiarly as we proceeded upwards at about the rate that sediments are laid down.
When the man departed, Fortey said to me: “That was a very nice chap named Norman who's spent forty-two years studying one species of plant, St. John's wort. He retired in 1989, but he still comes in every week.”
“How do you spend forty-two years on one species of plant?” I asked.
“It's remarkable, isn't it?” Fortey agreed. He thought for a moment. “He's very thorough apparently.” The lift door opened to reveal a bricked-over opening. Fortey looked confounded. “That's very strange,” he said. “That used to be Botany back there.” He punched a button for another floor, and we found our way at length to Botany by means of back staircases and discreet trespass through yet more departments where investigators toiled lovingly over once-living objects. And so it was that I was introduced to Len Ellis and the quiet world of bryophytes—mosses to the rest of us.
When Emerson poetically noted that mosses favor the north sides of trees (“The moss upon the forest bark, was pole-star when the night was dark”) he really meant lichens, for in the nineteenth century mosses and lichens weren't distinguished. True mosses aren't actually fussy about where they grow, so they are no good as natural compasses. In fact, mosses aren't actually much good for anything. “Perhaps no great group of plants has so few uses, commercial or economic, as the mosses,” wrote Henry S. Conard, perhaps just a touch sadly, in How to Know the Mosses and Liverworts, published in 1956 and still to be found on many library shelves as almost the only attempt to popularize the subject.
They are, however, prolific. Even with lichens removed, bryophytes is a busy realm, with over ten thousand species contained within some seven hundred genera. The plump and stately Moss Flora of Britain and Ireland by A. J. E. Smith runs to seven hundred pages, and Britain and Ireland are by no means outstandingly mossy places. “The tropics are where you find the variety,” Len Ellis told me. A quiet, spare man, he has been at the Natural History Museum for twenty-seven years and curator of the department since 1990. “You can go out into a place like the rain forests of Malaysia and find new varieties with relative ease. I did that myself not long ago. I looked down and there was a species that had never been recorded.”
“So we don't know how many species are still to be discovered?”
“Oh, no. No idea.”
You might not think there would be that many people in the world prepared to devote lifetimes to the study of something so inescapably low key, but in fact moss people number in the hundreds and they feel very strongly about their subject. “Oh, yes,” Ellis told me, “the meetings can get very lively at times.”
I asked him for an example of controversy.
“Well, here's one inflicted on us by one of your countrymen,” he said, smiling lightly, and opened a hefty reference work containing illustrations of mosses whose most notable