A Silken Thread - Brenda Jackson [124]
He was tempted to turn around but didn’t. He would let her have her say and then he would have his.
“I said mean and hateful things to you that day and I doubted you when I should have believed in you. Our love, our trust was put to the test for the first time and I failed. I am so sorry.”
He heard the choke in her voice and couldn’t help but turn around. But he wasn’t ready to give up his anger and pain yet. He had gone without her for four weeks. For four weeks he had walked around like a dead man, a man emotionally crippled in just about every way. But now seeing her again brought it all home to him. He loved her and nothing would ever change that. While love filled his heart, the hurt still lingered there.
Before he could tell her, she said, “I wish I could take back all the cruel things I said to you that day, but I can’t. Things seemed so black-and-white and it nearly destroyed me to think that I wasn’t enough for you.
“And to think my mother was behind it. That she is capable of doing such evil things, that she put her own selfish wants and needs above my happiness, hurts deeply.”
He gazed intensely into her eyes and saw the pain there, the hurt, the shame and the regrets. He hadn’t been looking for love that day in Myrtle Beach, but it had found him anyway and more than once over the past four weeks a part of him had regretted ever meeting her, had resented falling in love so boundlessly. But now as he looked at her he knew it couldn’t be helped. He was made to love her, which was the main reason he was here. He had wanted to be here when she heard the truth. Not to gloat or shove it in her face that she was wrong and should have been more trusting of him, but to be here to shoulder her pain, help her through this. Help them through this. And to be the man he would always be. The man who loved her.
“Now you know the truth,” he said. “She can’t hurt us anymore.”
She wiped a tear away from her eye. “Us?”
He smiled softly. “Yes, us. There will always be an us, Erica. We just finished traveling a pretty rocky road. There were times it appeared we wouldn’t make it, but we did. Nothing has changed. I love you. You love me. Besides,” he said with a little catch in his voice, “do you honestly think I’d give you up that easily?”
Erica began nibbling on her bottom lip, too afraid to hope. “Are you saying, considering everything, including what an evil mother I have, you still want me?”
“I’ll always want you and I’m marrying you and not your mother.”
Their gazes held and then Erica rushed toward him and threw herself into his arms. He held her tight and whispered how much he loved her. In turn she told him how much she loved him and apologized again for not trusting him, for almost throwing away the best thing to ever come into her life.
“I’ve missed you so much, baby,” he whispered against her hair. “I’ve been like a dying man and every day I was afraid I was about to take my last breath without you in my life.”
“And I’ve missed you, as well,” Erica said, tilting her head back and looking up into his eyes while keeping her arms wrapped tightly around him. “And to think of how much I almost lost because of my mother. I can’t—”
He placed a finger to her lips. “Shh. I don’t want to talk about your mother now. We can do that again later. This is what I want. What I need.”
And then he captured her lips. The moment contact was made, every bone in his body seemed to pulverize. Blood rushed through his veins and he felt more love for her at that moment than ever before. He wanted to do more than just kiss her and knew that would all come later. They still had a lot to discuss regarding her mother, but for now he was happy to have her in his arms and kiss her like there were no tomorrows.
Long moments later their mouths separated but he still had his arms wrapped around her, as though fearful if he removed them she would vanish into thin air. He smiled down at her. “As much as I’d like to finish this—and I truly do intend to do so later—there are still more things we need to discuss and additional