A Spot of Bother - Mark Haddon [129]
Six years ago Katie had given him a book token for Christmas (a lazy present, but an improvement on those ridiculous Swedish wineglasses you hung round your neck on a string). He had used it to buy the Reader’s Digest Book of British Flora and Fauna with the intention of learning the names of trees at the very least. The only fact he could now recall from the book was that a colony of wallabies were living wild in the Cotswolds.
He realized that he did not have to walk somewhere to escape the wedding. Indeed, walking was more likely to attract attention. Better simply to lie here, or somewhere farther into the undergrowth. He could emerge at night.
Then Eileen was saying, “George?” and it occurred to him that if he did not move she might simply go away.
But she did not go away. She said his name again, then screamed when he failed to respond. “Ronnie. Come over here.”
George rolled over to prove that he was still alive.
Eileen asked George what had happened. George explained that he had been out for a walk and twisted his ankle.
Ronnie helped him to his feet and George pretended to limp and it was bearable for a few minutes because although the ditch was comforting the idea of spending the next ten hours alone was not. And, to be honest, he was rather relieved to find himself in the company of other human beings.
But Eileen and Ronnie were taking him back to the house and that was not good, and as they got progressively closer he felt as if someone were lowering a black bin liner over his head.
He very nearly ran when they reached the main road. He did not care whether the dog was trained to attack. He did not care about the embarrassment of a hare-and-hounds race with Ronnie through the village (a race he would almost certainly win; there was so much adrenaline coursing through his system he could have outrun a zebra). It was simply the only option left.
Except that it was not.
There was another option, and it was so obvious that he could not believe he had forgotten it. He would take the Valium. He would take all the Valium, as soon as he returned to the house.
But what if someone had thrown the bottle away? What if someone had flushed the pills down the toilet? Or hidden them to prevent them being swallowed accidentally by a child?
He broke into a run.
“George,” shouted Ronnie. “Your ankle.”
He had absolutely no idea what the man was talking about.
118
When Jean reached the kitchen Ray turned to her and said, “Got a bit of a problem.”
“What sort of problem?” asked Jean.
“George,” said Ray.
“Oh dear God.” She had to sit down very quickly. What had George done to himself this time?
“Afraid he’s gone missing,” said Ray.
She was going to pass out. In front of the caterers. In front of Ray. She took a deep breath and George’s head flashed past the window like some kind of supernatural apparition. She thought she might be losing her mind.
The kitchen door banged open and George burst in. She yelped but he took no notice whatsoever, just sprinted into the hallway and up the stairs.
Jean and Ray looked at each other for a few seconds.
She heard Ed saying, “That, I think, was Katie’s father.”
Ray said, “I’ll go and see what he’s up to.”
She sat for a minute or two, gathering her wits. Then the door banged open a second time and it was Eileen and Ronnie and their blessed Labrador and what with thinking George might be dead then being scared out of her wits by George himself she snapped and said, “Get that bloody dog out of my kitchen,” which was not diplomatic.
119
Katie did her makeup and let Sarah negotiate with Jacob.
“I’m afraid you really do have to come.”
“Want to stay here,” said Jacob.
“You’ll be on your own,” said Sarah.
“Want to stay here,” said Jacob.
It wasn’t a tantrum yet, just a bid for attention. But they had to stop it gaining momentum.