A Spot of Bother - Mark Haddon [135]
Mum cupped her hand round Dad’s elbow and steered him toward the stone arch at the back of the building.
Sarah was singing “Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg” and swinging Jacob over a puddle. “The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker broke his leg.”
Ray took her arm and they followed Mum and Dad and they were spotted by Uncle Douglas who was smoking downwind, and everyone broke into a loud cheer.
They reached the arch and Sandra ran up and hugged her, then Mona hugged her, and Uncle Doug held his lit cigarette out of the way and said, “You sure about this, lass?” and she was about to deliver some witty put-down (Uncle Doug was a bit of a bum-squeezer) but she could see that he meant it so she didn’t.
Mona was already monopolizing Ray for a rapid grilling, having not met him yet, and the crowd parted and she saw Jenny in a wheelchair, which was a shock, and Katie bent down and hugged her and Jenny said, “Bit of relapse. Sorry,” and Katie suddenly realized why she needed that second ticket and Jenny said, “This is Craig,” and Katie shook hands with the young man standing behind the chair and hoped that this was an actual relationship, because that would be brilliant, although now wasn’t the time for questions.
Then Ed was marshaling them for photographs, and Katie stood with Ray looking out at everyone and it was like being in front of a bar fire, all this warmth being directed their way, though Eileen and Ronnie looked a little sour, which was probably due to it not being a church and other people enjoying themselves.
Then the registrar appeared wearing a slightly frumpy navy blue suit and one of those chiffony neckties that everyone else stopped wearing at the end of the Second World War, and they were allowed inside the building which was a bit like her doctor’s surgery in London. All cream paint and helpful leaflets and heavy-duty carpeting. But there was a big vase of flowers and the registrar was actually quite cheery and said, “If the bride and bridegroom would like to come with me, and the guests would like to follow my colleague…”
The registrar ran them quickly through the timetable for the ceremony. Then they heard the Bach double-violin piece start up and it sounded like something from a film soundtrack. Horse-drawn carriage, big house, frocks. And Katie thought, bugger segues, they should have gone for James Brown throughout. But it was too late now.
They walked round the corner to the big room at the end and waited outside while the registrar went in and said, “Could I ask you all to stand for the entrance of the bride and groom,” and they went into the room where it all happened and it was very neat and very pink with velvet curtains. And Mum smiled at her. And Katie smiled back. And Dad appeared to be studying an old ticket of some kind that he’d found in his pocket.
And as they reached the front Katie saw, lying on the table, a silk cushion hemmed with fake diamonds on little tassels. For the ring, presumably.
“Please be seated,” said the registrar.
Everyone sat down.
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” said the registrar. “May I begin by welcoming you all here today to the Peterborough register office, for the marriage of Katie and Ray. Today marks a new beginning in their lives together…”
Katie closed her eyes for Sarah’s reading and sort of hummed inside her head so she didn’t really have to listen (“Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving…”). She wondered if they could make a little wedding cake for the second ceremony in Jamie’s kitchen. Date and walnut on the inside. A little sugar Batman on the top for Jacob.
“For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”
Sarah sat down and the registrar stood up and said, “It is one of my duties to inform you that this room in which we are now met has been duly sanctioned