A Spot of Bother - Mark Haddon [63]
“Sorry.” George pressed PLAY.
Cheery music began and the titles came up over a starlit model snowscape. Two plastic reindeer trotted off into the pine trees and a toy man roared into the shot on his motorized skidoo.
The motorized skidoo had a face.
Jacob stuck his thumb in his mouth and held on to George’s index finger with his free hand.
Tom, the aforesaid toy man, went into his polar field station and picked up the ringing phone. The screen split to show his brother, Bob, at the other end of the line, calling from a builder’s yard in England.
A steamroller, a digger and a crane were standing outside the office.
The steamroller, the digger and the crane had faces, too.
George cast his mind back to Dick Barton and the Goons, to Lord Snooty and Biffo the Bear. Over the intervening years everything seemed to have got louder and brighter and faster and simpler. In another fifty years children would have the attention spans of sparrows and no imagination whatsoever.
Bob was dancing round the builder’s yard, singing, “Tom’s coming for Christmas! Tom’s coming for Christmas…!”
Maybe George was fooling himself. Maybe old people always fooled themselves, pretending that the world was going to hell in a handcart because it was easier than admitting they were being left behind, that the future was pulling away from the beach, and they were standing on their little island bidding it good riddance, knowing in their hearts that there was nothing left for them to do but sit around on the shingle waiting for the big diseases to come out of the undergrowth.
George concentrated on the screen.
Lethal Weapon was rather trite, too, when one thought about it.
Bob was helping prepare the town square for the annual Christmas Eve concert by Lenny and the Lasers.
Jacob hotched a little closer and took hold of George’s hand.
While Bob worked round the clock to make the concert go smoothly, Tom stopped to rescue a reindeer from a crevasse en route to the ferry and missed the boat. The Christmas reunion was off.
Bob was very sad.
Unaccountably, George was rather sad, too. Especially during the childhood flashback in which Tom got a toy elephant for Christmas and broke it and wept, and Bob mended it for him.
A little while later Lenny (of the Lasers) heard about Bob’s plight and flew to the North Pole in his private jet to bring Tom back in time for Christmas Eve, and when Tom and Bob were reunited at the concert there were actual tears running down George’s face.
“Are you sad, Grandpa?” asked Jacob.
“Yes,” said George. “Yes, I am.”
“Is that because you’re dying?” asked Jacob.
“Yes,” said George. “Yes, it is.” He put his arm round Jacob and pulled him close.
After a couple of minutes Jacob squeezed free.
“I need a poo.” He got off the bed and left the room.
The tape ended and the screen was filled with white noise.
52
Katie pulled up a chair.
“We’re going to hire the long marquee.” Mum put her glasses on and opened the catalog. “It’ll fit. Just. But the pegs will have to go in the flower border. Now…” She extracted an A4 sheet showing the floor plan of the tent. “For the top table we can go round or oblong. It’s eight per table and a maximum of twelve tables which makes—”
“Ninety-six,” said Katie.
“—including the top table. Did you bring your list of guests?”
Katie hadn’t.
“Honestly, Katie, I can’t do this all by myself.”
“It’s been a little hectic recently.”
She should have told Mum about Ray. But she couldn’t stand the idea of Mum being smug about it. Handling Dad was difficult enough. And by the time they were discussing rich chocolate mousse versus tiramisu it was too late.
She wrote a guest list off the top of her head. If she missed an aunt, Ray could bloody well explain himself. Assuming the wedding happened. Oh well, she’d deal with that eventuality another time.
“I told you Jamie might be bringing someone, didn’t I,” said Mum.
“His name’s Tony, Mum.”
“Sorry. I was just…You know, I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions.”
“They’ve been together for longer than me and Ray.”
“And you’ve met him,” said