A Spy by Nature - Charles Cumming [151]
To hear her anger spat back, the triumph of it, sickens me almost to the point of retaliation.
‘You gonna say something, Alec? You got anything you want to say to me?’
Only Hawkes’s voice in my head like an invocation prevents me from tripping into confession. When caught, he said, deny everything, if only for the sake of legal process. Never admit charges, never verify their accusations, however much information they may appear to have against you. The other side will always know less than you think they do. Resort to lies.
‘I have nothing to say to you, Kathy. And frankly I’m disgusted that you think this about me…’
‘Oh, get off it, Alec.’ She is shouting now, making no attempt to control the flow of her rage. ‘Have you no self-respect? Is your vanity so great that you crave this kind of recognition, from men like David Caccia, from men like Michael Hawkes? It’s pitiful, truly it is. I’m flying to Washington tonight. Do you understand that? My career is most probably over. How does that make you feel?’
‘It has nothing to do with me,’ I tell her.
‘Oh? And how do you spin that one?’
‘I’m not spinning anything.’
‘Why don’t you just have the guts to come out and admit what’s going on here? It’s over, Alec. You’re beaten.’
I know that she is right: the situation is out of control. Whatever happens now, this is over.
‘I am not beaten, Kathy. No one is beaten. This is all…’
‘Why are you bothering to deny this? Is that what they taught you, huh? Is that it?’
And suddenly I snap. I just let it go.
‘Listen. This is the game we’re in. It’s that simple.’
There is a momentary silence as she acknowledges that I have broken cover for the first time. But her anger soon returns.
‘The game? Doing undercover work for a snake like John Lithiby? You have any idea of that guy’s record, Alec?’
‘And what about you? You work for an operation that helped to arrest Mandela, that relocated Nazi war criminals…’
She emits a dry and contemptuous laugh.
‘That’s ancient history. We both know that. It’s a freshman conspiracy theory.’
‘You want something recent? OK. I’ll give you something recent. We’ve just caught American intelligence agents hacking into the computers of the European Parliament. CIA people trying to steal economic and political secrets, just like you, just like Fort. Just doing their job, in other words. That computer linked up to 5,000 MEPs, researchers and EU officials with their confidential medical and financial records, all of which the CIA would have had no hesitation in using if it gave them some leverage. So don’t lecture me about ethics.’
‘So that’s all this is? Tit for tat?’
‘If you want to see it that way, sure.’
‘What are you saying, Alec? That SIS isn’t doing exactly the same thing with its own European allies? Are you so blinkered that you think the good old Brits aren’t up to that? You really suppose your government is too clean to spy on its EU partners?’
‘Not at all. But that’s how all of this works. You spy on me, I spy on you. And every government in the civilized world spend millions of dollars going round and round in circles.’
‘There are too many people who know about this, Alec.’
‘Meaning?’
‘You work it out.’
‘Are you referring to Kate?’
She says nothing.
‘I said are you talking about Kate, because if you -‘
‘All I’m saying is that there are people who are going to want payback for this.’
‘You leave me alone. You leave her alone.’
But Katharine’s voice suddenly slows into intimidation.
‘You haven’t heard the last of it.’
My rushed temper still flared and obstinate, I say:
‘Is that a threat?’
And her reply is a sinister foreboding of revenge.
‘You know what it is.’
35
Fast Release
GCHQ pick it all up and within ninety minutes Sinclair has been despatched to bring me in. He rings the buzzer downstairs impatiently in hard electric bursts lasting four or five seconds. It is just past ten o