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“I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume you didn’t need your empathy to pick up on that one.”

She smirked. “Good guess. Look, Will, I know my mother is micromanaging this thing, but it’s very important to her—”

“Deanna, I had no problem with having your mother run the ceremony on Betazed—when it was just a few dozen people in the chapel where we met. But this is getting out of control. This is supposed to be our wedding, not her look-my-daughter’s-finally-getting-married party.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, William.”

Oh, damn, Riker thought, looking over to see that the viewer on Picard’s desk had raised out of its slot. Of course, I told Vale to pipe it in here, so of course the channel’s already open. I’m an idiot.

Troi had the same stricken look on her face that Riker imagined was on his own. However, she recovered quickly, touched the control that rotated the viewer so they could see it from the two guest chairs, in which they each sat. “Mother, he has a point. I understand how important this is for you, but—”

“But enough is enough,” Riker said.

“Will

” Troi said with an undercurrent of menace, but Riker refused to be intimidated.

“Of all the unmitigated gall—”

At that, Riker stood up, putting a hand to his chest. “You’re saying I have unmitigated gall? This is my wedding. This is the most important day of my life. I watched my father step into a disruptor blast meant for me and then die in my arms. I sat in a pit on Tezwa that was less than two meters long for weeks, with my hands and ankles bound. The only thing that got me through those things was knowing that I’d be with Deanna at the end of it. So yeah, I have the unmitigated gall to tell you to go to hell, Lwaxana. We are getting married on Earth in Alaska in the Denali Mountains. You and whoever your valet-du-jour is are welcome to join us.”

“How dare you speak to me that way! I am a Daughter of the Fif—”

“I don’t care if you’re a Daughter of the American Revolution or a member of the Order of the Bat’leth,” Riker snapped. “That’s what we’re doing.”

Troi snapped right back, “Will, that’s enough!”

“You—”

“You too, Mother,” Troi said, whirling on the viewer. “Both of you calm down.”

“Little One, I’m the picture of calm. It’s William who’s not being—”

“You’re both behaving like idiots, and I’m not going to stand for it anymore.”

Riker, who was still standing, looked down at Troi. “Deanna, that’s not fair, I—”

“Not fair? You’re the one who just unilaterally decided we were getting married in Alaska. Were you planning to consult me on this decision?”

Abashed, Riker sat back down and put his hand on Troi’s. “Deanna, I thought that’s what you—”

“No, you didn’t—think, that is.” She turned to the viewer. “And as for you, Mother, I’m amazed you didn’t simply invite the entire population of the Federation and have done with it. You haven’t been thinking either—or, rather, you have been, but only about yourself.”

“Little One, that’s hardly fair. I just want what’s best for you.”

Glowering at the viewer, Riker said, “So do I.”

Troi smiled sweetly. “Good. Then here’s what we’re going to do. Will, you’re going to reserve the spot in the Denali Mountains.”

“But Deanna, I—”

“Thank you,” Riker interrupted, feeling triumphant.

“As for you, Mother, you’re going to continue making arrangements on Betazed.”

Riker’s triumphant feeling fled. “What?”

“What?” Lwaxana parroted. “Deanna, I—I don’t understand.”

“Simple—we’re going to have two ceremonies. It’s a common enough practice in mixed marriages. First we’ll get married on Earth, and then we’ll do it again on Betazed.”

Riker blinked. He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, then closed it again. He blinked a few more times. Finally, he managed to say, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, dear—I didn’t think of it, either.” Lwaxana spoke in as close to a contrite tone as she was ever likely to adopt. “Can you both accept the apologies of an old woman who let herself get carried away?”

Troi smiled so widely, her perfect cheekbones crinkled