A Turn in the Road - Debbie Macomber [52]
“So the divorce is actually responsible for your starting up the business?”
She nodded. “I had help.” She told him the story of the knitting class she’d joined and the friends she’d made, including Elise Beaumont. “Elise’s husband, Maverick, was a professional gambler—and he took a gamble on me.”
“One that paid off.”
“Yes, thankfully. So you’re right. Grant was indirectly responsible for my decision to start this business.”
“And now he wants to get back together with you?”
She cradled her mug with both hands and looked down into the cooling coffee. “He does, and I’m having a hard time deciding. I was with him for twenty years. We have a long, shared history, two children and a lot of happy memories. He realized he made a mistake and will do anything he can to rectify it…. I just don’t know if it’s possible to go back. I’ve changed and so has he.”
“Have you forgiven him?”
“I hope so.” She paused, then resumed, speaking slowly. “About a year after the divorce I woke up feeling miserable and depressed. Annie had let it slip that Grant and Tiffany were in Paris. Paris. I’d longed to visit Paris, and Grant knew that.
“All I could think about was how unfair it was that I should be alone, while Grant and Tiffany were off having the time of their lives. I buried my face in the pillow and just sobbed.” The memory of her grief and her tears that bleak morning was fresh in her mind even now. “I realized then that I had to forgive him.”
“What made you decide right then that you had to forgive him? And how did you manage it?”
“At first, I thought it would be impossible. I thought no one could forgive what Grant had done to me and our children. But then…” She bit her lip.
Max reached for her hand, gripping her fingers hard, silently encouraging her to continue.
“Then I understood that unless I freed my heart of the bitterness and resentment I felt toward Grant, I’d be incapable of ever loving again. I had to unclench my fist of anger in order to fill my palm with happiness, with joy…with love.”
“And you’ve done that?”
“Max,” she whispered, unsure how to respond. “I’ve done my best but I’ve discovered forgiveness is a lot harder than it looks. Just when I think I’m completely over what he did, something will happen that shows me how far I still have to go.”
“Like what?”
“I told you he was upset with me because I took a risk and rode off with you. That angered me and I let him know it. Later, I felt bad because all Grant was really doing was telling me he was concerned about me and that he loves me. I was shocked by how quickly those old resentments returned.”
Max circled the straw around his empty soda glass. “How’s Grant’s relationship with his children?”
“Better.” Bethanne carefully chose the appropriate word. “Andrew’s had a hard time trusting his father. When we were first divorced, Annie acted out her anger but eventually she calmed down and now they’re as close as they used to be. I’m pretty sure he’s keeping tabs on me during this trip through Annie.” In other words, Grant had more than likely heard an earful about Max already.
“No doubt,” he mumbled.
“Andrew’s wedding complicates matters even more,” she said. “Grant wants us to stand together, united as a family, as we celebrate our son’s marriage. In theory it sounds like a good idea.”
“And you’d like that, too?”
“Yes, I suppose I would. Grant and I love our son and we adore Courtney. But…”
“But?”
She was astonished by how easily she could voice her feelings to him. “Grant and me together sends a message to our family and friends that isn’t accurate. We aren’t a couple and haven’t been for six years.”
Bethanne was grateful that Max didn’t share his opinions or offer advice. His willingness to remain silent told her that he trusted her judgment and her ability to make difficult choices. To make the decisions that were best for her and her children.
As the afternoon progressed, she saw that the ice cream parlor had started to fill up. Max looked around and noticed it, too. They were taking