A Turn in the Road - Debbie Macomber [98]
Mainly, her mind was occupied with thoughts of Max. Other than their brief conversation the day before, they hadn’t spoken again. She realized he was giving her this time with her family, in much the same way Grant had given her time with Max. Was respect between rivals like honor among thieves? That concept made her smile, even if the comparison didn’t quite work.
She tried to be sensible and realistic about Max, and yet whenever she thought about never talking to him again, never seeing him again, an instant sadness settled over her. It didn’t seem possible that she’d come to care for a man so quickly and yet she had.
No one had made her feel the way Max did—at least not since the divorce. After six years of grief and anger, six years of forgettable relationships, Bethanne felt she might be incapable of giving her heart to another man…ever. She’d loved Grant completely, totally. When she spoke her wedding vows she’d meant them to be forever. Until death do us part… Not until someone better, cuter, younger or sexier comes along. Forever.
Grant.
Last evening he’d been so good with both Annie and Ruth, and yes, with her, too. He seemed sincere in his desire to make amends. As Ruth had said more than once, it took a big man to admit when he was wrong. Grant wanted her back and yet she had to ask herself: Could he still bring her happiness? Could they be happy together again? She’d forgiven him to the best of her ability, but she wasn’t confident she could trust him. Whenever he came home late, how would she know he hadn’t been with another woman? She’d never asked if there’d been anyone before Tiffany. In truth, she didn’t want to know, and chose to believe Tiffany had been his only indiscretion.
Sitting on the beach, she brought her knees up and dragged her fingers through the sand while her thoughts darted like bumblebees, flitting in one direction and then another. This decision was the most difficult she’d ever had to make.
Giving Grant hope for a reconciliation meant she’d have to forget about Max. If they were to have any chance of being a couple again, she’d have to give the relationship one hundred percent. That probably required counseling, for him and for her.
Bethanne wasn’t so naive that she didn’t realize she’d played a role in the breakdown of their marriage, too. She’d become complacent, too involved in her children and their activities. Grant left it up to her to arrange their social outings and she’d grown lax about setting aside time for just the two of them. They hadn’t done anything to nurture their marriage. The blame for that, she knew, should be equally divided.
Another flaw on her part was her inability to recognize what was happening in Grant’s life. In retrospect she must’ve been blind not to have noticed the signs. They’d all been there, as blatant as could be—almost as if Grant had wanted her to know. Perhaps he did, so she’d do something to stop him, something to show how much she loved him. But Bethanne had been oblivious to it all. She’d ignored the significance of countless late nights at the office and some imaginary big deal that never took place. Ignored the extra time Grant spent on his grooming each morning. She’d taken everything at face value, including the small unexpected gifts he brought home for no particular reason, gifts no doubt motivated by guilt. She’d ignored all of these signs, content to go blindly about her life, wrapped up in her daily routines.
Andrew had pitched for his high school baseball team that spring and Grant had attended only one game. Not once did she question his excuses. Their son was about to head into his senior year of high school and she was working on the grad night committee and—
Oh, what good did it do to dredge up ancient history? Closing her eyes, Bethanne fought back waves of regret, determined not